Caroline's Journal

2007-05-15T17:21:00.000+08:00

I've moved, and i posted on livejournal :)
I'd be nice to you to give you the link, it's okay if you don't wanna relink, i guess you're not worth telling:)
But still, http://dacherie.livejournal.com
Alive and kicking!

2007-05-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

She must be the luckiest person around.
Yes, i'm weak, and i wish i was her.

2007-05-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

Did you know that i'm retarded?
I sent everybody a 'hello' message on friendster.
But i grew tired when i was on my third page of 'friends'
And i sent isabella TWO hello messages, one today the other was weeks ago! LOL!
So people from the first 3 pages of my friends, you're lucky.
So you better darn appreciate it and be sure you reply,
Cos i need more testmonials :)

2007-05-14T10:56:00.000+08:00

So what if i'm not doing good in school
So what if i'm being more miserable than happy
So what if i'm tired of being miserable
So what if i'm losing my grades
So what if singapore has like, the worst education system in history (well, spiritually)
So what if i'm stuck here and would have to take stupid examoinations
So what if i'm graded in paper work instead of my strenghts
So what if i don't speak manadarin
So what if i hate mandarin
So what if i hate chinese
So what if i don't have anyone to trust
So what if there's too many people who betrayed me
So what if people thing of me differently
So what?

I don't care anymore, no one should judge me in stupid paperwork, we're born differently and yes, we all are different. No common alike. And my ambition can wait for my happiness.

2007-05-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

At least blogger had let me post something. Anyway, went for conference yesterday. Went to town with ms ang two days ago. Have i mentioned that newtowners srsly had nowhere to go but cineleisure? Lol, really.
It was a good thing i watched spiderman3 before exam period, no wait, it was during exam period, lol. And now, the cinema's filled with people and tickets are selling fast.
But anyhow, i'm gonna watch it again on monday with vera and marcus :D Yohan went back to indo D: That's sad news, really. And i meant that.
Two days ago, when i was on my way home from town, some caucasian commented something to me which was really funny and unexpected, he's a nice guy really.
He said : '' one thing i don't understand about singapore is that why are there so many people in the same place."
And i just laughed, and he moved on. Yesterday was scary, i swear, i almost got molested. There was this guy, who kept inching his way to me, when there's many available seats out there, and of course, i got squashed. But it didn't turn out the way i expected, though he looked at me, and i was wearing shades, so i couldn't see his face properly. But i'm fine, really. Just that i learnt not to sit right beside the window.

I haven't been eating right. And no, i don't have eating disorder, just that i hadn't had the time and money, lol. So yeah, rushed all the way to burger king with belle at expo, and i swear, expo seriously could do some renting of scooters or anything that has wheels, cos walking from one end of the expo to the other is seriously insane, really.

Or maybe i'll just bring my own barbie scooter with ribbons on the handles, colourful ones, to expo so that i can scoot my way round. I reckon, everyone would be jealous and people of chc and fcbc would start the new trend cos of me. And scooters would be like the newest in thing. I'm such a genius:)

2007-05-09T16:01:00.000+08:00

POSTED ON LIVEJOURNAL.
If you can't figure out the link, think twice, i'm not stupid, really.

I'd just be nice to you if you ask me politely:)

2007-05-08T11:22:00.000+08:00

Blogger is forever totally, completely, eternally screwed!
Maths and home econs exam tomorrow and i'm not moving that arse of mine off this chair.
I'm so hooked up on going online.
I need a motivation.
Thinking of what i'll be doing in my june hols is a great help, ironically.
I so cannot wait to go back indo
<3 indo
Okay, i'm gonna stay here for a lil longer.
I'm going to delete retarded people who really needs to get a life in friendster,
update my journal,
and find new layouts and hotties in myspace.

( i love cailey's layouts )

2007-05-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like blogging out anything, i'm feeling blank.
I hate exams, and blogger is screwed.
I still, should have changed to a livejournal.
But it's troublesome, and i want pretty skins.
I can't wait for drivers ed,
Though i can't have my drivers license this year cos i'm only 14.
I want to drive myself to e.x, pondok indah and crown (provided i look old enough to enter).
Maybe hard rock! :)
If i want it to be more thrilling, why don't you come with me for a ride,
and we'll drive all the way from jakarta to puncak.
And then we can feed those little monkeys with bananas:)
Awwwww.

2007-05-06T08:38:00.000+08:00

I was scared last night,
I had many fearful sightings, unpleasant ones too.
So i asked for the devil to be chased away.
And soon enough, the darkness was gone.
But guess what came along?
Vera's notoriously loud snores.
It won't quieten down, it just got louder.
And sometimes i wonder,
I must be God's personal joke.
It got louder.
And by then i suggested that,
I'm His comedy routine.

I think to Him, human beings are the funniest thing to pick on, no?
LOL.

2007-05-05T13:04:00.000+08:00

me; EH! why don't we eat here? *points to cool jap restaurant*
vicki; harh?! might as well eat sushi tei. Ex leh auntie!
clarissa; walao, expensive lah! Look at the chair (interior design of resto) alrdy know we cannot afford loh!
me; *LOL*

-

Secret recipe.

me/vicki/clarissa/kat; *flips through menu*
clarissa; walao, expensive leh!
me; eh what you guys want?
vicki; still looking.
clarissa; HERE GOT GST? GST expensive okay! 2dollar lehhh.
all3; *LOL*

-

vicki; can i have orange juice.
waitor; okay. anything else? *looks at me*
me; nah, i'll pass.
kat; can i have ice water?
waitor; erm, we're actually selling distilled water at 50 cents.
katl; erm okay...
waitor; okay.
clarissa; WALAO. 50 cent alot of money okay! want distilled water might as well get from chem lab!
waitor; *stares at her*
me; *controls laughter, but failed, anyway.*

So i guess we should know who's the bargaining and money face queen now, lol. We were at vivo city by the way.

Watched spiderman3 yesterday with kat, vic, johan and marcus wee. It was a pretty good show that brings harry potter down, lol. We missed the aftershow, thanks to johan and his sarcasm.

I'm hungry and i think i need to meditate now.

2007-05-02T17:02:00.000+08:00

As many people would have said, i am a much happier person than i ever was. There's no special reason to it, really. It's just that i've changed the way i've looked into things. Usually i used to take small things as a huge task, but now, it's neither the other way round.
The way people bitch about others, or even me, is too common and the things that they say are meant and considered to be genuine. I think it's bullshit on stalking people's opinions and making people to agree whatever you've said in a particular way. I've experienced much of these and i would want to say that i'm relatively unhappy about why these things always happen. I'm not one who creates much of a hassle, so you should know that i don't go around talking shit about anybody, though i used to and i do it at some point of time/keep things to myself/rarely does it.
So you think it's me again, unhappy about people, being moody and i should change to keep up with your ways and so on. Honestly, i'm not demanding for something. Not even attention or respect, well, as much as i want to, but i think it's kinda pointless cos you cannot simply change one's mind. So what's the whole point of even trying. I must say that i'm neither sad nor angry, i'm too used to it that i think the best way to get out of this unpleasant situation is just to laugh it off and chill it.
It's actually a simple misunderstanding. And this leads to people's trust being weakened. I'm not one who has a strong certainty, neither am i one who has strong skills in everything. So the next time you're unhappy in the things that i do, please shoot it out and i promise i'll change. And at the same time, you should be cooperating with me in order to make a person's task less loaded. It's the initiative that counts, am i right? Besides, a simple task in school, and you want me to be in charge of everything, is hard for me to juggle. So i lack leadership skills, fine, i shall improve it. But what's not a team when one backs out and pushes the responsibility to the other?

Just like what i've said, it's simply the same old game, everybody talking in circles. It's best we could just break away. I'm not trying to act happy or having an attempt to break a smile, it's just what i'm feeling right now. The whole situation is not about your misery, my dreams. It's just a feeling that one has to overcome. I'm not trying to hide the dark side, i've just looked into things quiet differently, way differently. It's true i used to vent out my annoyance, anger and exasperation into someone's face, but now, i keep it to myself or better still, overcame it all. The fact that we're trying to clear all these doubts and contradictions, we've also been led to a deep, deep misconception. A misconception so deep, i don't even know where the bottom is.

But what i'm trying to explain here is that we should all make this habit to a stop. Though it's impossible to, at least, please, do me a favour by walking out of the room, keeping everything to yourself before we create another conflict.

I've paid my price, sacrificed my undeserving respect for you, and i'll gladly appreciate it if you could do it the same way. Unhappy? I won't tell you to deal with it, but on the other hand, let me know and i'll try to change things even in the most difficult and intense situation.

All in all, i'm not angry nor sad, no really. I just find it funny why these bitching things happen to most people, that it seems impossible to stop it completely. It's just funny, well, isn't it?

2007-05-01T19:13:00.000+08:00

I think i'm gonna get a big fat zero for ipw. And i'm the only one left to save it, i just don't get it. Maybe i lack leadership skills, or i don't have a good strategy, or maybe there's some rivalry between members in the group, or perhaps group work isn't our thing.
Whichever it is, i'm pissed. Cos we're all stuck in this mess in the midst of examinations.
Speaking of which, i've been a good girl and i've been studying non stop since last night. I stayed up till 1 am just to absorb geography, which i have not been revising. But i've finished chapter 2 (huge accomplishment), and i'm done with biology.
Studying makes me happy, well its better then stressing on plans on where to go in the afternoon. I can't wait to go to school to get all my doubts on every subject right. I've got extreme fetish on the correction idea, it kills me when i'm left with something i cannot work on.

I've been studying for 6 hours on weekends, and 3 hours on weekdays, i've decided not to attend school, right after the exams:)

That's how contradictory i am.

2007-04-30T17:31:00.000+08:00

Revision seemed more unencumbered now, really. I learnt to be more organised and well planned at least! Today was pretty random, with many ups and downs, i must say. Mrs goh said the composition was badly done. To think i can even ace it, i must be some kinda genius. I must not think too higly of myself this time, shan't be too complacent, cos i'll be too over confident and i'll end up failing instead.

Oh yeah, i heard that there was this girl called felicia? , who actually stalked marcus wee cos he's awesomely cute.

-.-'''

If want to stalk, stalk me can? LOL, kidding. That'll be like, creepy. And there was this girl who passed him a secret love letter, how cute, some puppy love. Which i think was obviously dumb cos she ended the sentence with '' i'm beautiful '' HAHA.

Ah well, anyhow. I hope they get together somehow.

Seriously, is marcus wee really that cute?

(coughs in awkwardness)

You should know what i mean (rolls eyes)

It's meant to be genuine, not sarcastic :)

I hate ipw, i seriously do. I mean, what's the whole point of your group isn't cooperating at all? And the technical report was mostly done by katherine and i felt bad. Can't believe it, we still have to do it next year.

And when everybody pushed me aside again, it was unbelievable that i still had company :) Went to ikea with kar yee and clarissa, never had much fun for a very long time.

My hand ached badly, all thanks to clarissa, for pulling my arm through the gap seats and it eventually could not come out. Then she did this snake dance with my hands and karyee tried to get it out, but i was laughing really badly and hysterically, that it seemed impossible to get the flinging arm of mine out.

Yes, it was stuck, if you don't know what i'm talking about.

It took me very long to cool down, and it popped out finally. Had meatballs at ikea, and almond cake, i'm bloated now.

My Loves<3

What little we say to one another often comes back in another guise. It's the same old game, everybody talking in circles.That's how i felt about you, no wonder we could never get along.

2007-04-29T16:58:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't be here. But sometimes, things can get so enticing, like going online instead of mugging for the mid years. But ah well, what's done is done right? Besides, chinese paper was over and it lifted my burden for revision. It sucked by the way, with all the unfamiliar chinese characters on the passage, which made it impossible for me to read or comprehend. So let's just miss the whole point of learning chinese instead of japanese okay?

Curses.

I wished i was a japanese born. Not being racist though, but i just hate studying for chinese, some gruesome dislike i guessed. Gah, i'm gonna flunk chinese anyway.
But english paper was alright. It was manageable. Everyone wrote a narrative essay, while i did an argumentative one, i hope i don't screw up. But seriously, the narrative writing was difficult, it was really limited for me at least, i couldn't find the correct theme and concept for the whole damn thing, so i actually gave argumentative essay a shot.

It's about the pros and cons of using Internet, by the way.

I hope i'll ace it :) My revision's doing pretty fine, at least i'm not behind time ~~or maybe i am~~. The thing about many of my classmates/competitors are all having tuition and extra lessons is so pressurizing. My maths is the biggest worry right now, i doubt i'll ever score an a1.
And i'm desperate to get into the maths/science stream. I've actually decided not to look into the triple/elective science thingy, cos it's really time consuming. I might as well drop biology cos hell, i never want to picture myself being a doctor ever again. After watching nip tuck, i thought it was like bleah, stupid.

I'm one who cannot tolerate seeing gruesome organs. If that's your ambition, go ahead. I'll support you.

I think when i grow up, i wanna have a job that involves language:)
Write books perhaps?
Or maybe start my own line.

On the other hand, i did some productive shopping yesterday with vicki. I shopped a lil way too much, my mom killed me this morning.

I'm finally free:)
My excitement and laughter-
I had total control.
It's kinda hard to believe,
but you might never know what i'll do the next time.

P.S I think you've got the message from me.

2007-04-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

Some people are just so far out,
and if you have a problem with me then too bad.
I guess you're gonna have to deal with it.
Sometimes you're just so irritating,
being the person whom i do not know at all.
Seriously, get the facts right before gabbing stuff that people do not want to hear.
You might be reading this,
or maybe not.
So i'm gonna make things clear, til you read this.
This, i say, should be the last post i'm posting due to mid years.
I hope you get the message by then.

G.A.L
You can't judge people the way you want to.
And if you'd consider me being shallow,
Then what about you?
Should you crap another shit about me,
i'll promise, i wouldn't procrastinate nor ponder if i should approach you.

(edited)
Just because you've got a pretty face,
and older/younger than me by freaking months,
doesn't make you any stronger.
Shallow bitch.

2007-04-25T16:19:00.000+08:00

I'm hungry and mugging had made me even more famished. God, please help me.
Haven't been eating any decent meals for the past few days since last week. And yesterday's subway sandwich for dinner didn't keep me going. Skipped lunch cos of dumb maths lesson, and now i'm biting my nails while waiting impatiently for dinner.

So much for the mid years i guess.

I can't wait for sunday, cos sundays just make me go happy. Have i talked about it a lot? I guess i did. I want to go shopping with my girlfriends, it's dreads to see me going online shopping. I hate examinations. But then again, i wouldn't be able to hang around town or the mall often so i guess this is the time to do some saving up for t100:D Yes, t100. That's a very huge hint for my mom:)
Chinese mid year exam tmr, so i better do some catching up though i left only 3 chapters to study. But i can always revise again form the start right?

Omg, i'm such a nerd.

2007-04-24T20:18:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt so stressed and cocked up just trying to get people to listen and understand what you're actually tryna talk about? It happens to me all the time. And i've been thinking of this extremely random thing and i've decided to post everything out that comes into my mind. So pardon me.

As i was saying, feeling miserable and bad about something that you've debate/argued with another party can tick you off real easily. But what happens if you've got nothing to say and it shows that your 'enemy' actually won? Big deal, i've actually thought of ways to deal with them further. Some people just love saying out their perfect quote-all the time, repeatedly, you just have nothing to say, and it actually leaves us to feeling appalled.

FAVOURITE QUOTE OF THE YEAR, for some people:) Which i think it was very funny.

1. Clarissa
- 'stop it larh kun kit!!!'- 'no one's supposed to touch my hair!'
- (my fav) 'DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR, IT'S MADE UP OF THE BEST MINERALS AND NUTRIENTS.'
If that ever occured to you, just keep playing with her hair kay? Technically, she doesn't mind at all.

2. Marcus wee
HE'LL EITHER;
-nods head
-shakes head
-shrugs
-(or worse) doesn't reply to you at all cos he's in lala land.
My solution, don't talk to him in the 1st place, hahahaha!!!!

3. Katherine MA
-'SAVE THE EARTH'
If you had a pack of used tissue, just dump it to her since she's willing to recycle or reuse them:) Good work kat, polar bears just love you.

4. Vera
-she'll sabotage you with some innocent strangers, i swear she does.
-laugh out loud for no reason in particular.
Solution-stay away from her.

And at last, ME.
5. Caroline
- 'what is fu4 weng1?'
- i'm just trying to test your chinese basics cos heck, i'm horrible at it. So if you got this wrong, then i must say i'm better than you.
solution; the next time you come across this qn, please reply and answer as a 'rich man' instead of a 'fishermen'.

Don't get the joke? Too bad, crack it if you want :)

NOTE: this is a dumbass post which you've actually wasted your time in your life reading. I'm just a complete mess after all this mugging.
Good day.

2007-04-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

It's kinda amazing what caroline had been up to these past few days. All she did was study study study, that nothing goes into her mind but equations, chinese characters, historical places/years, topographical maps, vocabulary, formulas, scientific facts and so on...

And true enough, i've been studying chinese for a solid hour :D
And if you know me well enough, i used to stash my chinese text into the cupboard and couldn't care anything but to flunk the whole dumb test.

Result = i've been getting As for chinese :DD And i've got an A1 for english, that's the biggest achievement that i've achieved so far :D

Realise, i'm using smiley faces, so you should be able to imagine how happy i was. Anyway, i cannot wait for june, cos it'll be then where i'll be able to get my drivers license :D And my mom alrdy signed up for stupid dumb courses, and i bet i'm the youngest participant out there.
Is it called illegal driving? Cos i'm only 14 and i'll be behind the wheel in exactly one month's time.
Ah well, who cares, i hope i don't bang onto a tree:)

My grandpop is leaving for Osaka in exactly 5 hours time. Omg, i'm gonna miss him! No more jap converstaions anymore, well for at least a week or so.
But still, i'm gonna miss him, and his cooking!

<3japan,kingscross,chatswood

2007-04-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

(omg, i just typed down a whole chunk of everything and it's gone.)

Happy birthday marcus wee!

Service was so-so, my weekend wasn't an outstanding one either. I want to go shopping, but i'm kinda grounded and curfew's one darn thing. Online shopping doesn't seemed to be the perfect solution cos going online is bad. Besides, even if exams were over, i doubt i'll be enjoying myself.

I'm just too used to keeping myself busy, it's just so wrong seeing myself having nothing to do. Each week's gonna be a new hectic one, i hope i can make it through.

Celebrated marcus's birthday, i think he's all traumatized now.

He ran to this pole to take cover and wanted to take a bus home from the nearest bus stop.

But i said to him : Eh, come back, you're gonna look retarded out there in public, besides, you don't have makeup remover, only we do!

Then, he came rushing back to us, and we snapped more gay pictures.

Our end product= happiness:D

I want to be the picture perfect that He had shown me :)

2007-04-21T15:07:00.000+08:00

me: you scared of clarissa right?
kun kit; no la. scared of her for what.
* a few seconds later*
kun kit; okay la, maybe a little bit.
me; haha, but you always bully her. what will she do if you beat her?
kun kit; she'll beat me back la, aboden.
me; pull her hair?
kun kit; she'll shout and say 'my hair! my hair! its made out of the best nutrients and minerals!'
me; omg, you're kidding.
kun kit; come la, i show you.

*both kun kit and i walked to clarissa*
kun kit; *pulls hair*
clarissa; OMG, MY HAIR!!!!!!!
kar yee; eh kun kit, don't like that la!
kun kit; *tugs again.*
clarissa; STOP IT LARH KUN KIT! IT'S MY HAIR OKAY!
kun kit; your hair? yah, what about your hair?
clarissa; stop pulling it, it's made up of the best nutrints and minerals!!!
me; omg, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

My retarded sef revision timetable.

It's lagging, and i would have to go now to keep up with it, goodbye!

2007-04-20T15:51:00.000+08:00

How would i rather spend my thursday afternoon/evening (til dinner) besides having 3 hours of retarded tuition and additional 2 hours of retarded self revision?
Dang. And my timetable seemed to be unrealistic than ever.
Biology test was crap. I completely wasted 10 minutes of my time tackling a stupid question which actually carries almost half the mark of the whole test paper. And those application questions are actually easy, but to think that i could ace it as easy as i call it, i think i'm just being unrealistic and i should stop dreaming about it.

I should have studied.

Should i fail the test, it's actually pretty predictable and expected.
I shall kiss my marks goodbye.
Oh, did home econs practical today. Ms williams sure got pissed by me and clarissa cos we kept bugging her, by asking her stupid questions like 'where the hell is the ricotta cheese' and so on- repeatedly. And she pointed the refrigerator continuously, but we were too stupid, we just couldn't find the item that we want, even though it was right at the corner of our eyes, or perhaps i should say, we were actually holding onto it.
But our strawberry french toast was pretty and yummy!

I especially L O V E chunzhi's and li ting's zucchini, omg. It was gone by like 5 minutes. And it was mostly eaten by me, haha. Chun zhi and liting kept grumbling.

Mini concert after school. And being called a mini concert, it was really 'mini'. Like there were only 4 performances? Fizah did a pretty good job i shall say, though it was kinda weird having the song played out by an electric guitar.

Why doesn't anyone pick an acoustic one?

And marcus wee totally screwed up his lines, no offence but yeah. It was too obvious, everyone noticed that and he made many mistakes for not more than one time.
Bad memory i shall say? Cos memorising lyrics last minute never worked. But performance was okay, i think he sounded better singing english song rather than chinese song, not because i hate chinese song, but it's about the verbal kinda thing. Get what i mean?
I mean, seriously. Try making a caucasian sing a mandarin song, and a chinese sing an english song, it's just weird. Same applied to some people. They just sounded better singing songs of different language:)
Don't try listening to me singing in the shower, just know that. Haha.

I saw zheng hao again today!
*recalls karma story*
Oh,no. Haha.
And i've came to realised that many people are pretty skeptical about certain issues. Like me having a new boyfriend called ryan? Hahahhahaha! Which is totally untrue. I've came to know no ryan. Well maybe except one, which was actually ashlee simpson's ex boyfriend. So yeah, get the right story kay?
And just because i'm unavailable, doens't mean that i alrdy have a boyfriend. I don't intend to actually.

Single, Alive and kickin' :D

2007-04-18T20:58:00.000+08:00

I've been so screwed recently, i think i felt suckier than i ever was, and people gives me shit all the time, you could've imagine how sucked up i was.

But a cool, refreshing shower helps :)

I don't know why, but certain people just love venting out their inner child at me, by doing all sorts of nonsensical and stupid stuff. I can't seem to comprehend the joy of pushing me into a younger boy, who's literally a BHB (<-hokkien/canto, either which), trying to pull of a smart move by doing push ups and manly actions.

Which was totally irrelevant and displeasing. It was so disgusting but 3 against one, what can i say. Numbers always wins, plural are always more. And even when i tried squatting or sitting down on the floor, vicki, lucinda and katherine just dragged me further.

Tskkkk, some people.

Chemistry practical test was pretty much screwed, i got so nevous that i never realised i got burnt by the heated test tube again, until the whole test was over. It was then i felt this burning sensation on my palm and i dare not to tell mrs chia cos well... She seemed unapproachable. Lol. it still hurts by the way. I hope i'll be excused to not jot down notes from the board tmr.
Had tuition with study buddies yohan and vera. And guess what, there was this caucasian who popped by to say hi, and chatted with us casually, being so outgoing and friendly. Awww, what a cutie. Man, why can't asians be more friendly like them.
Brief conversations goes a long way, i love casual talks especially with someone who are totally different form you.

I saw liew zheng hao again today. I keep bumping onto him these days. And hey, you know what? I believe in karma and i'm thinking that maybe one day, just one day, i would just be his girlfriend for real, haha, kidding!
But still.....
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
OMG, NO! Eh eh eh, shit, cannot cannot.
*smacks head* *smacks head* - repeatedly.
I'm unavailable by the way:)

2007-04-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

me ; *giggles*
melvin; *stares*
me; *smiles*
melvin; what? why are you laughing?
me; *laughs*
melvin; what what what? what is it? tell me leh, tell me!

:)

Today wasn't really my day. To start off with this unpleasant scenario, can somebody just explain to me why do i always hop onto wrong cabs that are mostly mercs or volkswagen ones and they always have cabbies who could not identify and locate where the hell is new town secondary.
Is new town really that bad?
Cos heck, some cabbie actually wanted to take me to NEWTON.
Not new town, omg.
Worst still, it was a volkswagen cab. And meters shoots up everytime. My heart just died. For the price i'd have to pay, i'd say it's so unreasonable.
Was a good thing i stopped him in the knick of time, or else, i wouldn't be able to find my way back. I hate taking cab to school, but i was late, so what else can i do.
I think i need a chauffeur, lol.
And mummy please buy yourself a mercs so that i could drive your altis. I'll be getting my license this june anyway :D
Oral today was crap. I screwed the whole goddamn thing. I crapped non stop to the teacher and i even procrastinated to head my way to the 'hot' seat, where you'll be invigilated. I pondered on too many words, and the topic about renting a maid was crapshit. I hope mdm long wouldn't fail me, being the best chinese teacher around in sec1 :D But the dumbest thing was that i used english words to describe how i feel. The word ''abuse children'' just popped out of my mouth. Jeez. And i replied her a one or two words sentence.

I doubt i'll pass.

-

Why is it that everytime i close my eyes,
To have a little slumber,
And when i opened my eyes eventually,
Why....
Why is it that i always feel like i'm 5cm taller?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Is it me or...?
Is it gotta do with my physical growth or mental problem?
Whichever it is,
I've concluded that human beings are interesting.

2007-04-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

School, however, was pretty contradictory. There were many highs and plentiful of lows. Tsk, what better could life get.
I got pissed by ipw, ewww, the thought of it just haunts me. Vinegar was all over my uniform and the sun's heat this morning was unbearable. But afterall, there were happy moments :D

I L O V E geography lessons, never fail to brigthen up my day/week and no more monday blues.
Mr roy tan was talking about telcommunication hubs or whatever, i love cranky jokes from kun kit and mr tan. God, they made such an incredible feat.

Mr tan; see? japanese MTR line is so much more complicatd than s'pore's MRT line.
Kun kit; ehhh, no lah!
Mr tan; and do you know that the MTR there is always packed with people that security guards there would have to push everyone inside the MTR so that the dorr could shut close.
Kun kit; EH! like that can take advantage leh! (man over woman, molest, you get the picture.)
Mr tan; kun kit, no one would think that way, only you do.
Whole class: hahahahahahha.

After school, vicki&lucinda&katherine went over to my house to get the bloody ipw project done. But on our way, we saw Eric. Omggggg, i'd almost die, not because of heart thumping and palm sweating, it's the embarrassment and shame that kills. Vicki waived at him and he waved back, unexpectedly. And she's always talking about him on the bus. And both of them were always laughing.

It's so obvious (too obvious) that vicki likes him, right? Or maybe the otherwise. I don't know, i don't care either.

Me; dude, forget about your whoever guy, you might as well take him.
vicki; but he's younger. i don't go for younger guys.
me; urgh, like he's very short. Dude, the height is there. Its compatible. besides, stop dreaming about your ever so tall guy. be realistic.
vicki; yuck, no way.
me; but it's the coolest trend for girls to date younger guys what. its the new golden era!
vicki; you like, you take la.
me; no thanks. height not there. he's good for you. Mmmm (gives satisfying look)
vicki; (rolls eyes)

But indeed, she was happy. In a secretive way. Awww, how sweet :D

Then there was this indian guy, who keeps talking crap all the time, saying that we're the baking bitches since we were doing our vinegar and baking soda project. Omg, just go to hell okay?
Anyway, i like lucinda's chinese accent :D
I bet it's way funnier than mine.

Harvey used to tell me, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Does it really go that way?
Maybe, maybe not.

God, i miss talking to him already D:
I love the madness when he keeps bugging me :D
Really.
Okay, whatever.
Omg, harvey, just say whatever you want to say okay?

2007-04-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

SUNDAY :D

I love sundays, well not for any reasons in particular, but it's always the day that i've been expecting for in the whole week, and sure enough, the week just went by in a flash, when you're expecting something at the end.

It's like a child's treat, get what i mean?

Met up with katherine at clementi to have lunch, and after that, we made our way to dover to get wheels from raymond. He's such a great help, i wonder what would qy think of us if we hadn't accomplished our ipw project.
Service was G R E A T. Toured around expo with kat just to find gatorade, but they were not sold anywhere. And i think its ridiculous. Why wouldn't anyone sell the most famous sports drink?
Anyhow, went to changi to for dinner with the rest of the cell grp. Intended to do our project in an open field, but we didn't since we were so unproductive.
Next week's gonna be a horror. Test, exam, test, exam, must, study, must, study - these words just keep ringing in my head. But i didn't take the initiative to urge further in doing these.
I need support, badly.

Nobel award for childplay goes to none other than fat-soh barney.

Popeyes!

Clarissa said, ''why would they put a camera there?''
Then she pops out the answer saying, ''oh, i know already. They scared people steal the chicken''
LOL, when actually, their afraid of people hijacking the counter's cashier.

I take things to heart. Everything, even the things that people do, or say. I understand that i'm much of a headache cos of my nuisance, and i respect the fact that some people cannot tolerate me. I'm a kid at heart. And if you're telling me that this kid doesn't suit in me, then too bad, it's just the way it is. All Christians should have the concept on everything was made by God. Even the stars, the sun, the earth, the moon, the sea, the land, living creatures and of course, human beings, were all created by Him.
Am i not created by Him?
Or am i just influenced by other people around me? I don't think so.
Am i in the wrong to hang out with friends that i've made, regardless if their size, appearance and character?
I think that's ridiculous.
Plain ridiculous.

So the next time you try to pout something out, think twice. Cos people might not feel the way you do, nor will they have the same judgement.
Earnestly, i'd really appreciate it if you could just keep it yourself, before we start the wrong foot here.

Thank you very much:)

2007-04-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

Went to town with aijia to catch freedom writers. Little did we know that it was a night show and we couldn't possibly catch it since aijia's got a curfew.

*psst* She lied to her mom that we were doing some geography project in some nerdy library since she's so called grounded due to exams. Lol.

So we intended to watch meet the robinsons, but contemplated. I cried most of the time cos of bloody shoe. My feet's dysfunctional now, and it's out of a fatigue figure. I guess this are things that girls would tolerate just to make herself pretty dressed up, yeah?
Well, not so for me. I actually wanted to exchange shoes with aijia but her's was a size 9, while mine was size 7. So yeah, don't think about it. So...I was forced to my a new ripples and heck, i think it's plain ridiculous. But hey, my feet was like bleeding all over and plasters and stickies don't work. You could have seen me whining back then.
After much procrastination, we finally got to book our ticks. We decided to watch the last mimzy, cos i can't stand myself watching cartoon though i'm not in a very old age to watch that. Had pepperlunch, then headed off to the cinema, but sadly, we went to the wrong level again and again and i almost died cos one inch with my flats means one year is being reduced in my life. Yeah, that's how painful it is. And as much as i want to entice or even protest myself to continue further, i kinda jerked, too many times, sharp external pain just kill me somehow.
Movie wasn't that bad, though it's kinda mythical and so narnia, it was pretty cool. Forget the lame and childish title, storyline was alright.
(but the basic concept of the movie was all about science and...dna, haha!)
Oh you can kill me for being such a ruiner, i simply cannot resist. Yaya, you go watch it anyhow.
Went to sony after that. Aijia went crazy over the new sony w88oi, and i went crazy over the t100.
Thank God i hadn't purchased T10 or T50, if not my life would be full of regrets.

Mine in the next 2 (or less,hopefully) months :) I hope honkong sells new different design/colour, and i hope its cheaper, cos me and my mom would be flying there soon.

I saw this Australian man/lady, talking to each other as if they knew each other very well, but were strangers. How friendly, so i was thinking, wouldn't it be great to have Caucasians (friendly people, in general) around you? Haha, kay, i'm gonna tell mom not to buy the Cosmopolitan, hmmm, maybe buy a new house at Kings Cross!

And it's not the australia kings cross i'm talking about. I want to migrate somewhere and have tons of pretty caucasians to ogle at :D

2007-04-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

Y E S T E R D A Y

'' Tmr is commendation day, and sad to say that you guys would be staying behind to be audiences. And the pretty fun thing about it is that ALL of your sec2 camp pictures would be revealed to the whole school and everyone would have a good laugh at you.''

- Mrs Cheryl Goh

" Harhx??!!!''

- Whole class

'' And oh by the way, you should know that ms ng specializes in photography and you should know by now that she snaps unpredictable pictures too right? Like some of the girls, screaming and crying over the zipline. Or some of the guys washing toilet or eating your food. Oh ya by the way, your maths trail learning journey pictures would be shown too, and same goes to the video on the maths trail which actually stars you, caroline.

-Mrs Cheryl Goh

" fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFFFFG!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT "

-Me

" Yes, yes, to the whole school."

-Mrs Cheryl Goh

*buries face on paper, trash em' to pieces, cried and whine*

( It made melvin worried, haha)

T O D A Y

" I'm so dead alrdy, my video! It's gonna be shown to the whole school, and omfg, i'm dying!"

-Me

" Whatever la, our's is worse okay. Camp picture!!! Lucky you didn't go. And ms ng took too many pictures of me alrdy! Like after i showered, my hair, terrible! "

-Kar yee

" *laughs* I don't really care about it. Cause i'm sure that she never take picture of me, i've always been hiding away from the camera "

-Estelle

" I'm dead, yours is picture, mine is VIDEO leh!!!! "

- Me

So i was pretty worried for the whole day, i don't know how i would survive on monday. But anyway, commendation day was crap, boring! (guess what) Ironically, most of the sec2 camp pictures features kok keong the most. Like all his funny pose, makes me laugh all the time. Hysterically, and no one seemed to care, cause their all laughing too. The other point was that, there was no picture of clarissa and kar yee, even though they were caught by the cameras during the 3 days camp. And lastly, there was this portrait of estelle!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sometimes, being confident doesn't mean a thing at all.

And oh, by the way, there wasn't any video crap about me doing some stupid survey. Thank you very much mrs goh, for haunting me the whole night and hence i couldn't study well nor sleep well last night.

Did geography project with aijia&grase&marissa, had fun! Aijia keeps playing this tarzan and jane song, which were out millions of years ago, my head couldn't stop turning and spinning everytime i hear that song. She keeps going ' banana, fana' oh whatever crap. Like tarzan's so handsome and strong, so sing the jungle song.

HAHAHAHAHA! Famo funny!

P.S i hope monday would be a screen-free day, so that my face won't appear anywhere:)

FREEDOM WRITERS WITH GIRLFRIEND TMR! :D

2007-04-12T18:39:00.000+08:00

I love how the internet works, do you?

Like i've viewed tons and tons of different profile/blogs/journal online and somehow i've gotten my long lost primary school friends' links. And heck, their not from Gesps, but their all from haig girls' school.
Haha, it's weird seeing them all grown up right now. Like our favourite signature sentence (always) used to be 'hmph, i don't friend you already' and the next minute you'll go 'okay, i friend you back', lol!
It's funny how these memories, they last. And being able to catch up with them seemed more enticing than meeting new friends out there. I've caught up with ee ling pretty much, and would you believe that we ended up in the same Church on the same year and even did our encounter on the same time too? I remembered distinctively that we used to hate each other and stuff. But now, we're more than just hi and goodbye friends:)

-

School's such a pain to me now. Everybody thinks that i've quieten down a lot. Is it just me or is it the way people look at me? I don't know, you decide. But what i've heard was that i used to be pretty loud, smacking people's back, shouting out loud about plans after school. But most people said that i just disappeared right after school, and it tells that it's totally not me cos i hanged out after school a lot.
I couldn't agree more. Home, is like my sanctuary, but it haunts me everytime due to boredom. Hmm, pretty contradictory. But anyhow, mid years are coming and homework seemed to be piling up, so it's good i'd be home doing them.
Went to town after school together with karyee&aijia&lucinda to get my braces done. Skipped guides:) I was happy. Dr george, please set my next appointment, and every other appointment after the next, to fridays and in that way, i wouldn't have to care a shit about guides anymore. I regretted joining it and i think i'm gonna quit.
Haha, call me a looser, but i'm pondering if i really, really should. I couldn't care less about cca point, fail me on that, i don't care. I care too much for my studies, i don't give a darn on tree planting and sisters bonding forever, *draw cutesy face and hearts everywhere*, and of course, camping.

Ewww.

I'm kinda pissed at myself, for not studying last night. Like i've told myself a million times, 'carol, be sure you study by 2030, but guess what? I slept through from 2000 to 2300, haha!
Tossed and turned and finally turned in at 0000.
And i have much catching up to do. Bye!

I shall be blissfully ignorant about tmr,
I could just die thinking of it.
So what? No biggy.
I'll die socially anyway :/

2007-04-11T16:09:00.000+08:00

When you're trying to revise and mug the whole day for the upcoming exams, and some stranger called you right in the middle of the day, you're apt to think that some drunk-dialing guy was just fiddling with his cellphone, punching through numbers, hoping to have some lady on the other line as the victim just to 'hang out' and everything. Well, not so for me at least. But i got kind irritated when there's this person who kept calling me about 7 to 10 times, in 5 minutes. And the first time i picked up the phone, all i could hear was static noises coming through the other line.

I'm getting scared now.

Why is everyone hitting for 80(s) combo while i'm still stuck right at the bottom of 75, huh? I think i'll need to practise maths everyday, though it sure is a torture to me but i think it's worth it.
I don't know how i'm gonna face these few weeks of doom in school. School haunts me sometimes, especially when mid year's just around the corner.

Daddy oh daddy, give me energy :D

But one thing i've come to realise is that when you look forward to something for the week, time actually passes by real quickly. I've been looking forward to service everyday and sure enough, i never realised that today is wednesday. I thought i was still caught up in the midst of those monday blues.

But bad thing is, i'm days and weeks closer to mid year.

2007-04-10T20:16:00.000+08:00

I'm 1/7's hot topic in secondary one's history. I don't know how to face school and i am so dreading for recess every now and then. Sure, i got irritated by vicki for telling out, out of point and nonsensical things about me having this edgy on some sec1 guy called eric, but i wouldn't mind though, if people keeps talking about it, cos i absolutely do not know him-at all.
So if you had good or even basic logical thinking, you should know that i wouldn't like this kind of person cos heck, he ain't handsome at all. Eyecandy's a different story. Gah, nevermind, you simply just cannot read through people's mind, can you? :D Leave me a message if you're thinking what i'm thinking. I would greatly appreciate it :D
Plus, i'm in sec2 and i wouldn't like dating a guy younger than me, much less having a crush on him. So, who cares anyway? Besides, this is another step closer of me, being through and done believing you. It's no biggy, and i don't have to be so hard getting over it. Why do i have to go a huge round, if i could go straight to snap that line of yours?

:)

It's hard to convince yourself to stay awake through chemistry lesson. It's was soooo boring, i could have died, but luckily i didn't, but instead i slept through the whole lesson, without getting caught :)
And worse still, i slept through mr kannan's class, and i'm gonna get a fair bit of warning from mrs goh later on this week. I'm positively sure of that.
But on the other hand, i was so proud of myself, i'm almost done with revision on history and i'm now moving on to biology. Although chinese was the first killer, i wouldn't want spending too much time revising it cos i know if i were to study for it now, i'll most likely forgot the whole of chinese vocabulary by next week.
So perhaps, or i should rather say, the best thing is, mug chinese next week, or maybe 3 day before the paper.

I can see i'm pretty well organised now. But my timetable's pretty unrealistic. Like i plan to revise my work for 4 hours on a weekdays, and 5 hours on weekends. Well obviously not in one shot. I guess i'll have to turn in as 'late' as 2a.m just to get everything done.
But believe it or not, i had been studying for 4 hours on weekdays, but weekends are hard to keep track of.

Should i get a vintage polariod? It'll be cool to snap pictures with it...
Shall i? Shall i?
My mom's so sweet, she promised me to get new gadgets when we're going off to hongkong this holiday :D Yay! Oh yeah, have i told you guys that i'm moving pretty pretty soon? Well, not so soon though, in 2 years time, which is soon to me. I think we're moving to The cosmopolitan, if i hadn't remember correctly.

Will you be my neighbour, lucinda?

The year's passing by in the snap of our fingers, i wonder what i would be doing in 7 years time.

2007-04-09T15:35:00.000+08:00

Vera left me a huge deep impression on someone and now i've been thinking about it lately. No one in particular, really, i'm just wondering why such people exist. But i think vera should have already forgotten about what she crapped last night so i guess it isn't really a huge matter.
I actually thought that we would be having chinese oral today, but thankfully it was next week. IPW, geography project and tests are such a rush. Mid year are only two weeks time. My clock's ticking and i could count the number of days with my fingers. So i assume that you know how short time would pass. My group's so screwed, they made a bad, bad choice of picking me as the leader. So if i had affected anybody's science marks then please accept my apology cos i was never really an organised nor a responsible person.
You could blame me for not doing my part but what can i do if i had unluckily fallen sick on that very day. I can't possibly go to school with a mild fever and even if i did, would i be able to absorb and digest everything the teacher taught, and everything that had been written on the board?
English lesson was fun. The whole class just sat in one huge circle in class and we practically passed papers around, jotting down the strenghts and weaknesses about the person. And did you know what my weaknesses in friendship are?

Bad/hot tempered, mood swings.

Geez, pretty true actually. I could be fiddling with youe hair and being so happy with you for a minute and then getting grumpy and sour the next. There was this once where i scolded some guy in my class (i just know it's some guy from my class, i couldn't remember the person), even when he was absolutely not at fault. Yeah well, those are my weaknesses so far. Only two :/ *looks away*

Okay fine, i lied. So what? Some guy wrote something else under my weaknesses and i couldn't help but laugh at the sight of it.

'' Oh, Caroline likes to sleep in class''
'' Always sleeping in class''
'' Doze off in class almost in every lesson''

HAHAHAHAHA!!! But do you know what my classmates suggested about Grace's weaknesses?

She always dread PE, she always don't exercise, she's a lazy pig, LOL!
(No wonder she's getting fatter, kidding!)

Okay, i'm mean. But hey, i don't mind people calling me petty and hot tempered, i guess it's how God created me? And same goes to everyone else, it's just the matter of how he created you, that's all. And besides, i'm not the kind who gets angry without any reason. I'm reasonable yet i still find people's right (or wrong) acts in skepticism. I'm just like that, i don't know why. I'm sure many people are pretty doubtful on the things that they do, but i'm not the kind who could be bothered in such stuff.
My strengths are mainly all the same. That is: loud, funny, laughs hysterically. And i find it funny and weird somehow that people just loved hearing and actually appreciated my hysterical, out-of-the-world, loud and unglamorous laughter.
Man, do you know that i used to blame myself for laughing so unglamorously cos it actually made my friends feel embarrassed and sometimes it gets too loud that it actually annoyed and attracted people's attention? They could turn around my back and say 'what a bitch' once they hear me laugh again. Haha.
So anyway, went to sp with the girls. But grace left her wallet in school so both of us made our own way back again to school just to get her bloody wallet. Omg, my legs killed me. I couldn't stand any longer, it got too serious that we actually cabbed to sp, and that's plain ridiculous to the cabbie cos sp is actually directly beside my school. It took no longer than 10 minutes (at constant speed) just to get there form my school, yeah, that's how near it is. But ah well. So when we tried to search high and low for the others, they were at T1 having macs and we're like all the way back at T16. My legs burned even before we reached 'checkpoint' T10. Believe it or not, that's how my stamina works.
I hate blogger in a way, my photos from the previous post just vanished out of nowhere. Ooooh, and i think i need a new camera, since my old camera's cover came off literally. I think Polaroid is soooo cool, but it's big and heavy, yet pretty vintage. I like vintage-pictures. But neh, maybe i'll just rent one.
I'm waiting very very patiently for my nicest and dearest uncle kang to get my mac fixed.

At the time being,i would have to start pressing that study button somewhere (on my body) right now. Cos at the rate i'm going, i'm not so very well organised in my revision for the mid year.

2007-04-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

Hello dear all!! I'm back from Easter party!!!!! Wooohoooo, it was a blast! Those of you who missed it will have nothing but sheer regrets, lol.
I don't know what's wrong with vicki. She always shows up if she wants to, not thinking of what people might feel. I mean, there's no need for you to worry if you won't get along with people that are acquaintances, right?
Anyhow, she's not even coming to church tmr, I just don't get it.

I skipped lunch. Actually no. There was no lunch for me. So i was looking forward to the food in the party but heck, eating time was only after 4. So yeah, you could have imagine how hungry i was.
But kangwei, edmond and jerry fed me with laughters. The whole room was filled with shrill laughters, mainly from me, i think. I enjoyed myself today, it was worthwhile.
And in addition, i DID studied a bit of language today, uh hurh, both Chinese and English. Oh and maths too. I'm so proud of myself, i think this is exactly the way how i wanted to start my new week. Say goodbye to emoish caroline, i'm happy now.

-
From a heavily close relationship to a light one,
I felt as bad as what i had done these past few weeks.
But true friendship never is lost.
It takes a different form, that's all.
I can't always have it my way,
Nor can i have things started and ended the way I'd expected.
This senses weakens, while other heightens.
Reconciliation is the key,
But i just had no idea where to start.

It's just so weird having me missing vicki, i don't know why, but i missed the days that we were true to ourselves. And the days where we wouldn't give a damn shit about what people think of us cos of our idiosyncrasy and spasticity, i just loved the way how strong and enthusiastic we were. I wouldn't say we aren't like that now, nor do i ask or give a peremptory demand for it, i just miss it and i'm just reviewing what we had done so far.
Maybe these were the culmination of me being so sad and moody, cos i always lack of something, and demand it imperiously for things much more than what i had received.

I'd just wish i could restore relationships with people that aren't getting along with me.
On the other note i'm fine with new people around as well.
I'm not disappointed nor angry with anyone or even with myself,
I just missed those days we were all always together.

I guess that's the main point of having memories, ain't it?

laughs.

2007-04-07T11:07:00.000+08:00

She could've been the luckiest person in this world.

'Caroline, you're so weak'

-Vera

I just did the stupidest thing i had ever done in my whole entire life.
All cause of my mac.
*curse curse curse*

I MISSED BILLBOARDS, EVEN THOUGH I HAD TAKEN NOTE OF IT DAYS BEFORE.
Is there an encore?

2007-04-06T23:49:00.000+08:00

Living our lives separately

I wasn't in a mood to go out, at all. But my bloody mac and ipod was soooo screwed, it needs special attention so i had to make my way down to wheelock with vera. It was such a coincidence that her phone was faulty too, so we made our way to nokia care centre, which had notoriously long queues. And servicing my mac took sooo long, omg, i skipped rehearsal.

(But i wasn't in the play, anyhow)

So afterwhich had pepper lunch for dinner, a pretty late one. Toured around town and vera got crazy over heels, i don't know why. I saw this pants and jacket and bag and belt that i really really like at guess, but it's too expensive that my saving of dongs, wouldn't afford.

Dong is a currency, believe me.

My mom's evil, pure evil. She said there would be no hongkong trip, no shopping, no gadgets, no holidays and more tuition if she ever see a bloody C in my report card for my mid years. Ewww, i so cannot ace my chinese, nor my english. Both languages are bad. But on a positive side, i could get everything i want as long as i managed to get all As and Bs. And hopefully, the next stop would be guess (after exams) and one pit stop at sony, i need a new camera. (A waterproof one. Wouldn't it be cool if you could take pictures underwater?)

I shall pray, work and study hard. Very hard.

2007-04-05T22:46:00.000+08:00

I love Russel Peters, he makes me laugh all the time :)
His videos are hilarious, makes you go WA KA KA KA.

This is very sad news, uh-oh. I dread to tell this to you guys but i've got to say it anyhow.

For those who had sampled/munched/gobbled/pleaded/ate/swallowed any of my meiji choco babys, i'm gonna say sorry, cos it's over it's expiry date.

Not a joke, but if you guys had a tummyache then i'm not the one to be blamed cos hey, i never realised it til this afternoon and i'm positively sure that almost 70% of my classmates had eaten it in class. It's a huge tube of chocs you see, so there's always more to spare. Imagine 70% of the students form 2/1, rushing for the toilet during the recess. I'm sorry, i'm sorry. Expiry date was january07 and its like april now! Hahahaha!
But this wasn't the worse after all. Expired rocher is bad for the tounge, believe me. Many people just keep feeding me overdue stuff, gags.

2007-04-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

Awwww, clarissa's in love :) That's so sweet. Cos i swear the last words that i heard from her was 'i don't want to get married', haha lol.

I'm so sad and disappointed today. I don't want to talk about it. I've realised that i've been such a fool for these past 3 months, i don't want to screw my april- and for the rest of my life. Again, i was angry at myself for not putting in effort in the things that i do.
Why, why, why do i always feel enthusiastic in studying at the wrong time? I was in great mood and i studied for long hours but all these are just last minute. I can never do revision before hand. Plus, today's tests was such a goner, i could have killed myself.

I'm so dead, i don't want to screw my mid years. I'll work myself off and make sure i give outstanding marks. Oh, revision never worked out for me without prayers. So, i'm gonna study/pray harder this time.
Well, tuition today was a good start. I cleared all my doubts on algebra and i managed to complete all of holiday(easter) homework in 1 hour :) Beams :)
Sweets and chocolates are the best for me when i'm studying. It's theorectically proven that studying burns sugar in your body, lol.

GodivaGodivaLoveeeeeeeee :D

2007-04-03T16:36:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, but i just love tests and exams cos it keeps me motivated to study, which is good. And the fact that i'm always studying, through day and night, this means that i'm busy and being busy keeps me away of things that i worry and feel sad about. Besides, it made me feel accomplished instead of feeling so helpless. And hello, i calculated that i have been studying for like 5 hours (bigshot) til 0100 or maybe 0200, i can't remember. But i woke up feeling too energised, that i woke up in the morning as early as 0330 but feel back to sleep at 0430 or maybe 0530. So by the time vera tried to wake me up, i was nothing but a dead zombie. Hmmm, why do i keep getting the time wrong? Because ms ang told me very long ago, that i'm always reading measurements/recordings/readings wrongly due to parallax error. It's weird how i can still remember the way my teachers nag at me. Gah, anyhow.

Studying just makes me happy :)

Call me a nerd for now, but i reckoned i'll be throwing off my books once mid year ends, ah well.

I've got to admit,
I had never seen someone so crazy in love with another person.
Usually i thought it was only me,
But the fact that i could never see my own reaction at that moment,
I find it an amusing sight, really.
Like when a girl's heart jumps and tingles uncontrollably,
And when she screams and shouts and blushes, haha.
And since it's all over,
I kinda missed that feeling.
*
*
Clarissa just looked too happy for her self being.

2007-04-02T11:49:00.000+08:00

I'm neither happy, nor sad.
I was never close to in between.
I'm just feeling blank,
About what i did and what i intended to.
Everything's a complete mess.
And now i've been answering the stupid hows and whys,
Which is totally irrelevant.
I'm not in a mood to do anything right now.
I don't understand how lousier i get as the days pass.
Fun and excitment is out of the list,
I don't know why i preferred sleeping through day and night,
Just to missed these things out.
I feel bad and i'm very particular about everything.
I'm always accusing myself at fault.
My apologies,
To everyone who are sick and tired of me,
And to anyone who i've pissed or hurt or offended.

~~If i can contol~~Controlling my smile, laughter and excitement, is the culmination of me leaving the tough game behind.
Actually, i never really controlled it,
I actually dealt with it and got over it.
That's the only part where i'm proud and happy about.

2007-04-01T20:32:00.000+08:00

I want to go back kindergarden and practise my abc's instead of mugging everything about the human environment.

Felt like crap today, wasn't in a good mood til now.
Urgh, i feel sick, emotionally and physically.

2007-03-31T23:40:00.000+08:00

Flying over a nation to another isn't fun at all. Yuck. Got scolded by mom, ama and i hate myself for being such a bitch. I'm fucken pissed right now, and worse of all it's not my periods that's giving me boo-hoos. Argh, let me just be ms blame-it-on-the-world for this time.

First off, grand opening sucked, i had to attend every aunties and uncles' needs and yuck, i hate that. And besides, it left me no time to do or even revise my work, it's disastreous cos there will be 5 test next week. If you hadn't known, i've been mentioning that many times so i take it as you now how important studying is to me. If i don't ace those test then i make sure i jump down the building, even if it will take me to hell.
Invitation sucked. I haven't been a good designer. True, i'm talented and artistic in sketching or shading but please, i'm not always good at art. So if it's the handwriting, layout or design that you're talking about, you better don't throw me on that job cos i'm the kind of person who doesn't do things in effort just as long as it doesn't interst me. Vicki's so good in writing, clarissa's talented in drawing, kat's excellent in layouts, but i'm not. So no doubt that this bloody job ticks me off easily cos i seriously have a short shelf-life of patience and the fact that it doesn't interest me at all. And i can't turn down the request and i know i'm mean to express out all my anger but blogging seems to be the best way to vent out my anger RIGHT NOW, so bear with me. If not, go ahead and click that [x] at the top right hand corner of this screen, if you do not wish to see how bitchy and mean and horrible i can get.
Just because i wasn't off to camp, doesn't mean that it made me ''so free'' cos hell, what i've been doing these past few days was pretty much struggling between family and work. Flying over to indonesia and back here again in singapore takes two trips, that means two days are wasted cos i wasn't doing anything on the plane. And i'm only off for 4 days, and if your maths are up to kindergarden standard then you should know that 4days minus 2 wasting days equals to 2 busy days. Duh! Trying to juggle everything in two days is not easy.
Okay fine, i've been delaying for a week but hey, last week was nothing but test test test, homework homework homework, tuition tuition tuition, that's it, i've had enough.

It's only invitation cards, but its a huge deal to my grades. Streaming or party, i'd rather give up partying than sweeping the floor for my future job cos i couldn't ace streaming.

Whatever, small things irritate me sometimes. I'm not angry with anybody, i'm just angry at myself for being such a bitch. Funny that a person can piss herself, but yeah, i'm that kinda person. I always put myself at fault and i'm betraying myself. So i guess that's what made me struggle too much.

'I'm looking out for Your sanctuary NOW'

2007-03-31T00:24:00.000+08:00

I missed camp. fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!!!

Okay, nevermind. Shopping was good, it makes me happy esp when i shop alone, so that mom wouldn't brag about this and that. Take price tag for example.
As soon as i get my ass to singapore, everyone would be telling me how much fun i'd missed, ohmygod, that sucked pretty much. But i'm sure the turn up of my khaki would cheer me up yeah?
I'm going back soon. If it wasn't for sunday, i wouldn't want to leave, it's so nice here, cos i don't have to stress on work. Speaking of which, there will be 5 test coming up next week, which leaves me such a muddlehead cos what i've been doing for these past few days was study study study, my head's gonna burst any time.
Worse of all, i haven't done the invitation for easter party, ewww, why can't vicki do it, since she's so good in art, and the fact that i'm not, and that i'm busy here for some grand opening my mom's having. Tsk, i'm busy enough to invite people to church.

You're not the bigshot here around.
So what if we have the same interest and hobbies?
We could be two out of a million.
You can never judge how God created us.
So don't give me attitude in your 'myspace',
Cos i don't give a damn.
If you want to protest, do it infront of me in school.
Don't claim like you have title, cos seriously you don't.
I don't believe the term 'strength in numbers'
What's strength when numbers get too shallow?

2007-03-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

It feels so good when you're enjoying your comfy bed and sofa while the others are off camping in some deserted places like jalan petara? Gah, whatever you call it.
So i came down here (indonesia) last night, it wasn't a good flight, i felt nauseous again and felt like vomitting, yuck, gross. But better still i came out alive.
I like gabbing to grase in indonesian language. I find the confusion smacked on my singaporean friends' amusing, lol. Yesterday's history class was amusing and i felt enlightened.
I've got nothing to blog about. There are good and bad things here in indonesia, i wish time could speed up cos i cannot wait to get promoted to sec3, i don't know why but i love the rush.

Don't you?

2007-03-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

Slamming the door shut seemed like the best way to vent out my anger.
Or perhaps blasting my cellphone just to drain down distractions from outside.
But i can't do these anymore.
I need a new way to find peace.
iTunes' prety screwed.
My ipod's faulty.
I had to make my own way back again to wheelock just to get it fixed.
I had no mood to do anything.
I'm pretty blank right now.
I can't be bothered about you,
But still, i'm concerned.
I'm struggling just to know myself, what i really want.
Honestly, i do not know much of myself.
So it's pointless saying everything about you knowing me.
I might seemed as if i'm oblivious about everything and about everyone.
But i'm a sharp person, really.
I take things too personally sometimes,
I always put myself to fault.
Worse still,
Regretting when i am nowhere at fault.
But i have to say,
Friendship isn't about just having fun or feeling elated being together.
Nor is it about a party having too many common topics to talk.
It never worked out with me.
I talk to many extended mails sometimes,
Without any commen interest,
But i feel much more comfortable if i'd ever meet them then talking to sick people.
I can't stand you being peverse.
It's nothing gotta do with me being religious.
Friendship is about earnesty.
I'm sure no one haa yet to ever realise.
Or maybe i'm overjudging you.
Prove me then.
In every prayer i would say;
' Speed things- fast'
Cos time is not a desperate thing for me.
Time was not my medicine.
It will never be, cos i'm the kind who likes jumping into scenes,
And reviewing them eventually,
Just so i've not been missed them.
Be it being in the worse class next year, i don't care.
It could have been His blessing to me.
I'm surendering everything i'm holding onto now.
My posts aren't always relevant.
It could be the most random thing you've known.
From boredom, to lameness, to happiness and onto pain.
I could go on and on, just talking to you about these things.
I don't go shit talking behind anybody's back.
Just so you know, this is a private blog.
And i must say that i have the fullest authority to say whatever i want to say.
To blog out what i feel.
Cos it's what had been keeping my mouth shut,
Instead of shovelling it straight to your face.
( I bet you haven't read this far)
I'm not done yet.
I miss my mom somehow.
And i can't believe the feeling gets stronger when time's acutally getting closer.
I'm gonna fly over and meet her tmr.
I feel like pouring out everything that no one had understood.
They always ask;
' Are you okay? '
And they always say;
' Things are gonna be fine.'
Hey, thanks for the concern.
But as much as i want to,
I can't seem to put myself in a happy mood these days.

Hence, everyone should know that i'm feeling less happy then i am feeling sad.

2007-03-25T18:50:00.000+08:00

{edited}

I'm socially dead, thanks to vicki tan wei kee, cos if i don't end up in the happy ending that i'd always dreamt of, then i'm gonna ruin her's, i don't care.
And also thanks to katherine ma and zhang clarissa for all the sabotaging and 'support'. Now everybody knows who i like, even Wanting and harvey, ewww. I'm not a secret anymore. Katherine's a pervert, kept taking shots of him in every angle she could take.
I never realised that this world could be such a small world. Harvey knows who is eyecandy and at that moment i was gabbing crap non-stop, shouting all the way til the far end corner of expo could hear me.
I've got a new trademark now, which apparently is my voice. And everyone (even strangers) had to calm me down. And there was this lady, with extreme attitude problem, who tried to shush me down by giving me a stern look. Oh please, i was just elated.
I was high during service, i kept laughing, singing, shouting and screaming. And strangely, i gave everybody hugs even those that i do not know. Haha, how affectionate.

Perhaps it was yesterday's vodka.Woots, my guiltiest guilty pleasure.

Or maybe it was something else.

Qy said that i'm bonier now. She thought i had eating disorder cos i kept vommiting, haha!
Expo's otah auntie had a different definition of my eating habit :

me; erm, can i have 3 otahs?
auntie; or okay, that would be $1.20
me; erm i think i'll round it up to 4 otahs.
auntie; oh, okay, sure. $1.60 please.

* 5 minutes later *

me; hello auntie, i want 5 more otahs.
auntie; huh? 5 more? i though you just bought just now?
me; yeah, i ate finish alrdy.
auntie; so fast?

Yeah, that fast, i practically gobbled down the whole thing, despite of it being spicy. Sure enough it burnt my tounge and so i dashed to some drink stall to have pink guava. But quickening steps never worked, cos i tripped and almost fell on my butt. Oww.

*during service*
vicki: please la, that sec 4 guy is SOO much better than your eyecandy. Tsk.
me; whatever, my eyecandy's cuter than your whoever and whatever-you-name-it.
vicki; whatever. mine got pacs okay!!!
me; so?! mine got fats okay!
vicki; HAHAHA! fats.
me; okay what, fats are more huggable.
vicki; *points to current crush* see? see? see? He's tan, tall, muscular and handsome!!!
me; urgh, please. Mine's cute, fat, short and white okay! big deal.
clarissa; harh?! Omg carol, your eyecandy is fattt la...

HAHA, i like fat guys.
I find fat guys appealing, maybe it's just an extreme fetish, lol!

2007-03-24T13:26:00.000+08:00

It's kinda hard to believe.
I don't know if my faith is worth.
It's a blank feeling.
Going in a way, without directions.
I don't know if i'd ever made it.
I've displeased You too much,
In too many ways.

I need a fresh, new foundation.
I think it's just about to fall.
I'd be still on rock,
Compared to a burning fire.
I'm not the enthusiast anymore.
Due to certain issues.
I've never felt like i was at home.
Your definition doesn't suit the whole situation.
I find it incompatible.
It's easy to picture, but kinda hard to paint it out.

I've lost the feeling,
And the word 'breakaway' disarms me everytime.
Everyone's so caught up with daily routines.
I'm sick and tired, to be called when needed,
And to be pushed when unwanted.
I never wanted the attention,
Nor have i seeked it.
Cos i knew, all along,
I could never have it.
But this is way too much.
I don't know where my faith could take me.
Each time i resolute to do it in my way,
Some things just choked up in between.
They won't be pushed aside anymore.
If i could, i would speed things up.
And i'd just hope, things would go the way i've always wanted it to be.
And the respect i've always given,
Would return the same way to me.

It's not a complicated nor a demanding request i've asked.
I just want respect,
The one that i've gave you,
But never in return.

Faith is like signing on a blank piece of paper

And letting God fill in the rest

-Belle

I've signed, choped, marked, drawn and painted.

I'm just waiting for His embellishment.

And at the same time,

I promise i'll work hard,

So as to make my achievements presentable to Him.

And to those who looked down on me.

I'm making my way up,

I'm sorry,

But i can't reach out for your hand anymore.

Cos you'll be the one pushing me down once we're on same steps.

Neither do i want you to follow me or follow my way.

Lives are just lives.

Live it your way,

I cannot make decisions nor will i sacrifice time with you.

My faith tells me that He'll make a way for me,

And for everyone else.

It's only a matter of time.

2007-03-24T12:23:00.000+08:00

My contacts got stuck in my eyeballs that it refused to come out, no matter how hard i tried to take it out. I even tried poking it, that it would come out somehow.
Thanks to mr bean, my contacts got dried that it couldn't come out, and then i had to spend one whole night just to take them out. Yes, one whole night. Which means that i hadn't had enough sleep since i slept at 6am til 12pm. What's worse was that my eyes is now red and swollen and i'm predicting that i won't have to go to school for the next two days, haha.

vera; if you want to prevent dust and dirt from having contact with your eyes, then you're gonna have to wear sunglasses, wherever you go, wherever you are, cos that's what my sis did, not so long ago.

-.-'''

Y E S T E R D A Y
My school had chinese opera for assembly? Tsk. Chun zhi kept grumbling to herself, cos she couldn't stand the noise and everything. I'm sure the cheenah boy loved the performance. I pitied chun zhi and so i lend her my joy luck and she said:
'' gosh, how to read one? i read upteen pages but still couldn't get the story line.''

AHAHAHAHAHA!

And as for me... I slept through the whole assembly period and i woke up just straight after it ended and i was like ' huh? so fast?', lol. Mr yee came after me again, for the sec2 camp thingy, i was pissed. And so i pushed all the blame to mom, saying that she'll clerify things out with mrs goh somehow.
Anyway, went out to town with yohan, vera, marcus and raymond. Watched mr bean hols, funny movie, but ending sucked real bad.
And since me and vera were in our school uniforms, we tried everyways to hide our trademarks, by wearing jacket, overlaying shirts and everything, just to get inside the arcade. We made it afterall. DDR is pretty addictive. Frequenting arcade is one major problem.
I can't wait to go back indonesia next week!

2007-03-23T16:18:00.000+08:00

Hello, okay i'm so desperate, to blog around this our in school. Yes, i'm down for guides and it suck like big time. I see no importance of cca point *rolls eyes* But today's guides was slack, thanks to the grace of the Lord, lol.
Mr yee was pissed with me cos i couldn't turn up for sec2 camp. I've got my own reasons, and my mom's dreading to make a phone call to mrs goh. Tsk, i'm gonna miss out the 'fun', which obviously i think i'm just in luck to skip that.
I hate school, teacher gabs crap infront of my face. I need tuition, i'd die for tuition, i need a nice, kind and patient teacher to explain things to me slowly.

Girls are pretty contradictory :

*last year*
me; is he cute? is he cute? is he cute? *squeezes vicki's hand*
clarissa; okay la, but i find him a bit 'beng'
vicki; oh, mhmmm.
me; ...

*a few days back, on a telephone conversation*
vicki; OMG, i saw your eyecandy!
me; *uninterested* Oh.
vicki; he's cute.
me; *shocked* really?
vicki; yes, he completely changed his dressing, no more polos, all formal kind.
me; okay, i so regret not going for g12 conference.
vicki; hahahah. awww, too bad.

* last sunday's service-phone conversation *
vicki, clarissa and kati: HELLO CAROLINE!!!
me; *pulls cellphone away from ear* erm, ya what?
kat; we saw your eyecandy in tiong.
me; like i care, i like somebody else alrdy.
vicki; don't bluff lo you! you told me the other time that you still like him!
me; i don't for real.
clarissa; anyway, he became cute alrdy.
me; pls la, he's always cute, anyhow-i like somebody else.
kat; he's with a girl.
me; omg, what?!?!?!
clarissa; i thought you don't like him?
me; *keeps quite*
vicki; see, i told you, i told you! she still like him.
All 3; okay, we gtg now, bye bye, see you later on service!
me; -.-'''

Okay, i wish ______ wears back his gay pink/purple polo tee to service and never ever appear in anyone's face except mine, haha! In that case, i'll be able to shoo one competitor away, which is vicki, who apparently sets fetish on him.

But nahhhh, not anymore, i think. hahahahhaha!

( she's gay by the way, well, turns out to be :/ )

2007-03-22T19:26:00.000+08:00

2.4 is getting onto my nerves. I felt nauseous again this morning. The hot sun only made things worse. The crowd during recess is one darn thing. Managed to squeeze through my way effortlessly somehow. Period's coming. I think it just came.

Mrs goh wanted to change the seating arrangement for me and kar yee. I don't wanna move. I don't wanna sit beside the ol' cheenah boy, cos it would only make things worse if i'd be his buddy partner. No jokes with melvin and no help in studies from him too. True enough, cheenah baby toped the class but i dare not ask him any questions cos i simply cannot get what he's trying to say due to his imperfect accent. Sheesh. And melvin complained that he doesn't want to sit beside kar yee too, haha, i don't know why. Perhaps everyone's scooting away from her due to her monstrous acts? Haha, i was just kidding.

Went to tiong again with lucinda, kar yee, katherine and vicki. Realise i used 'again'. Just so you know, i've been there too many times that clarissa refused to even step into the building. I hope more shops would be open soon at central so places like these (tiong) would be eliminated out of my criteria of 'where-do-we-head-off-after-school', lol!

I didn't get along with them very well. Perhaps i'm moodswing-applied. I slept through at mac while they're gorging hungrily on fries and fatty food. I was not in a mood of anything and i find it difficult and abnormal to flaunt my happiness in front of people when i'm in a dampened and foul mood. And they kept nugding me to wake up, but to no avail. They'd actually thought i fainted, or worse, dead.

It was no fun at all. If it wasn't for dental app, i would have gone home long before, but ah well. So after which i headed off to town myself and realised that i had ample time to tour around town before the appoinment. Went to borders and bought The joy Luck Club, I read through a few pages thorougly enough to capture the sadness and excitement. I think it's a good book. The ones that you won't come crying to your mummies, saying that you've regretted purchasing it, and eventually asking her for more cash to purchase another selection of books.

Okay, i shall set off to my study mood before i go blunt again. Oh yeah, and drink more ribena cos ribena brightens up my mood even though it's gloomy and cold outside, and of course, my moodswing period.

Byebye

2007-03-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

It's almost too good to be true

2007-03-21T18:55:00.000+08:00

First and foremost...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARTIN AND MARCUS!!!!!

Had a brief conversation with martin today. Yes, today's he's birthday, if he was in asia. But he's official birthday is actually tmr since he's in SF now. Awww man, i missed him already D:
Went to clark quay after school with vera, yohan and marcus ie. Had lunch at manhattan's fish market. Yum. Wasn't really exciting and we actually wanted to have some fun 'flying' opposite riverside point but it's better if we could do it at night so as to see the night lights. So it was postponed to saturday and marcus is gonna treat us soul garden in celebration of his birthday, haha!
Okay, i'm so bored now and i've been thinking and pondering on what i should do next after blogging. Somehow, i contemplated. Don't even think about studying cause i've mugged much last night. But anyhow, i shall do more revision even it's the last thing i'd ever want to do, cos mid year is actually on the 4th of april, yes, less than 2 weeks of revision cause of bloody sec2 camp. I'm so not looking forward to it and how i'd wish i'll vomit in that morning and so i won't have to turn up at all :)
School's getting gay and we lower sec had to share our break time with out seniors. That's ultimate. Cos mr poon define them as 'nice' and 'kind' (take note i used inverted commas) to take good care of us.
Theoretically, what chun zhi and i defined was that we had more competitors now. Competitors of...? Competitors for food.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Okay, that was a joke. Sorry about that, but hey, it's such an animation to think about it this way.

You've got the charm
You simply disarm me everytime :)

2007-03-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

Today was so-so and english oral just ruined my life completely. I volunteered to do a try out in class with mrs goh and she pointed out all the mistake that i've done and made sure i wouldn't make the same old ones later on with mrs cheong. Tsk, sometimes, horrible and scary things could be benificial to us.
She said that i was an animated person of all the girls in class, haha!!! Am i really?
Well, i shall take that as a compliment. Sigh, it's hard to get praises from teachers these days, esp when you're not from primary school anymore. But anyhow, all teachers are fine with me, with ms wong as an exception. All she could do in biology class was to drag drag drag, complain complain complain and brag brag brag. Yuck, the horror. She's the best-est staller i've ever known. (she proved to me that i was never the best, at least)
I kinda argued with mrs cheong on a conversation just now. Uh-oh, big mistake. i can't believe she remembered me, pratcially because of all the english oral i've taken, i'm always under her, so yeah. I think i show no progress of improvement. My sassy and try-to-be-the-oh-so-clever mother of mine dared suggesting me to pull off an australian accent, which i could if i would. But i wouldn't cos one straight look into the eyeballs of mrs cheong's, everything goes numb and i choked up many words.
Like ''physically'', i pronounced it as ''phi-si-c-AAA-lly''. I'm so screwed.
I managed to take a sinful glance on the score sheet. Wasn't bad though, maybe she was just generous with her marks, or maybe my face looked that pathetic.

I love geography lessons. Sad, kar yee doesn't like mr roy tan anymore, haha. (she find excuses, not reason, LOL). And mr roy tan was being the funny old man back then. He was talking about plantation and onto chips and onto cottonseed.

Okay, let me get this straight.
mr roy tan; okay, what are a few examples of plantation?
student A; palm oil.
mr tan; okay, what is it used for?
student A; potato chips.
mr tan; ....and soap.
student B; then vegetable oil how?
mr tan; ah, that is also for potato chips, there's also another one called cotton seed and it's actually bad for males.
everyone; why??!!
samuel; redeuces sperm.
everyone; HHAHAHAHHA!!!!!
mr tan; erm, actually what samuel said is quite true, but most chips use palm oil, or vegtable oil.
germain; what brand? what brand?
zikry; CALBEE!!!!
mr tan; no la, what i know is lays or ruffles.
ming loon; WALAOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! omg, i eat everyday leh!!1
whole class; HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

lays + ruffles = (contain) cottonseed = reduces sperm.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

okay, lame post, seriously.

2007-03-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

Tough day.
Couldn't sleep at night,
Heck, i had no idea why.
Perhaps there was something that was on my mind.
But that's not the point.
Though it was a huge deal.
Caught up with vicki pretty much.
Missed th0se days when we were together.
Gossiped and chatted in class.
Mrs ang was pretty annoyed.
I hope she teaches us chemistry.
Cause ms liang's lessons are goddamn boring.
Felt nauseous this morning.
Got everybody worried.
Chun zhi kept tugging me during assembly,
Making sure that i was alive.
Lucinda must have thought i was weird,
Cos i wasn't the good o'l high.
Vommited in class,
But nothing came out.
Good thing i skipped breakfast.
Someone suggested i was a one night stand.
And vicki insisted that i was pregnant.
Perhaps i really am Oo
But felt better after munching session on mentos.
Lied to ms ng it was strepsils.
Phewed and munched again.
Glucose is always faithful to me,
Cos i felt thrillion times better back then.
Maybe i need to see a doctor,
To really confirm if i'm pregnant.
LOL.
*
*
*
I was just kidding,
I just had a weak digestion, that's all.
Mind you.
I had tummy ache, gastric flu and kept vommiting,
All in the same day.
Yucks, perhaps i have bulimia.
Can you think of any other?
*
*
*
Kadang deg-degan.
Kadang melamun.
Kadang senyum sendiri.
Apakah ini cinta?
*
*
*
I don't know why,
I couldn't stop smiling,
When i think of you.

Those are not translates, mind you.

2007-03-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

It's a killer when you always have wake up early in the morning, tyrna get yourself steady in front of the mirror, only to find out that you've got a bloody swollen face. ARGHH! This is beyond insane.
I had no intentions of going guides, nuh-uh.
Anyway, headed my way down to town to get vera's nano fixed and so i toured around that place and i somehwhat regretted not insisting my mom to bring my mac along here to singapore, oh well. We walked all the way from wheelock to plaza sing, yes, imagine the distance. But it was worthwhile, at least it had conviced me that my lost diamond stud was alrdy gone, so no point crying over it.
I found out that i had huge cravings for almost everything. And it's not just about food. Vera was kinda pissed off that i kept delaying her to go starhub to get her cellphone fixed, i kept her busy by making her a company to eat and shop with. I think period's coming, cos it normally happens, times like these.

I don't know what to say, blogging isn't my kinda thing anymore, i think. Friendster's so monotonous and i wanted something more. Livejournal was the last thing i ever wanted. Perhaps i'm moving on to myspace, cos its like a blog+profile kinda thing, but i won't tell you guys the link unless you ask me personally. Like on msn or whatever. Kooodas.

(Though i'll be expecting that no souls would even ask or cared.)

2007-03-16T21:26:00.000+08:00

Okay, i'm so cocked up cos of my cocked up swollen face. And thanks to that, sentosa trip was cancelled AND i had to go around town looking like some cowshitdungasshole.

Not funny.

For whoever sees me back then, and snapped a picture, you're gonna get hell from me no matter what, i don't care.

Yossie was appalled to see me in this state, and yohan went 'whoa', while nice and kind vera said 'okay what..'.
Okay, that's so displeasing. I need a miracle pill, pretty please. Thank you very much if you had any. Email me and i'll give you a million kisses.
Tuition wasn't even productive, i screwed up on maths, i seriously need a real tuition teacher, for real. I'm gonna kill ms ang the next time i see her. Urgh, it pisses me off to whatever she tries to teach in class, cos it was what felt like she was gabbing all the way.
Anyhow... Watched Blood and Chocolate, which was totally unexpected cos i didn't intend to watch movie.
Ending was bullshit,yucks, don't watch it.I saw this sushi place where you can eat 26slices of salmon sashimi for like half price of what they have in sakae. I'm gonna go there anytime soon. All sashimi are the same, really. And i'm getting my ass there as soon as possible cos craving gives the shit out of me.
Had caramel masschiato (is that how you spell it?) and had tuition which was a waste of time cos yossie kept giving me wrong steps, which leads me to getting the wrong method and yohan was scolding her back then, it was such a funny sight when you put a sister and brother and see them fight like there's no tmr, hahha LOL!
It's so interesting to have a brother. I've always wanted to have one, maybe i'll call mom to adopt one :D
Okay, that was bullshit. Good news, i'm gonna get baptised! But it's not gonna be any time soon cos mom wants to be there, but truth is, i wouldn't know when would she come down here. Urgh, crapshit, let's just forget about it, and do it secretly.

Haha, lol, i was just kidding.

I want to watch freedom writers, any poppers who would want to butt in with me?

2007-03-15T12:38:00.000+08:00

dentist: *points to auntie* she's your guardian right?
me; right.
dent; okay, is it possible to get me through your mom?
me; erm, why?
dent; because i need to talk to her about the risk.
me; huh? risk? what risks?
dent; you know, if this surgery fails, you're gonna loose your sense or get blind....
me; WHAT??!!!
*
*
*
*on the phone*
dent; *gabs*
mom; *shrieks* okay, dr soh didn't tell us about it.
dent; but it's only a one percent chance and *blablablablabla*
me; *praying real hard*
dent; okay, i'll do my best. *passes phone to me*
me; yah?
mom; must be brave okay? must pray okay? and make sure you come out alive!!!!
me; -.-'' tsk, so sarcastic.
*
*
*
dent; are you okay?
me; *keeps quite*
assistant; carol, are you okay?
me; even if i said no, what are you gonna do about it? continue right?
dent; good point.
assistant; *laughs*
*
*
*
vera; *munching ice cream and chips*
me; omg, i feel like i'm on diet.
vera; *continues surfing the net*
me; *felt like shoving the whole damn bloody thing down her throat*
*
*
*
vera; *pokes my 'pufferballs'*
me; what?!!!!
vera; nothing, just wanna disturb you.
me; !#%$^%&*()^^%)&%$!!!!!!!!!!!
(pufferball=swollen cheeks)
*
*
*
me; omg, i don't care, i'm gonna eat whatever they have in this world. Just because of this godamn thing, doesn't mean i cant eat okay. Urghh, i got craving for sushi and kfc.
vera; oh.
me; eh, later go ikea and have hotdog okay?
vera; huh? you can eat meh?
me; i don't chew, i practically swallow whatever goes into my mouth.
vera; LOL, i think tmr you can go sentosa lo.

END OF ENCOUNTER, BYE!

2007-03-14T16:38:00.000+08:00

I'm so sick of holidays, i think i hate it when i keep myself towards doing nothing at all. Boredom kills me, seriously. And the worst feeling was that you get ditched too many times, cos too many people are just too concerned about doing a lot of catching up. Waste of time. People don't appreciate it on long bus rides, they're too self-centered i must say.

And so.. my holiday was nothing but pampering myself and being obedient enough to go regular appoinment with the dentist. Tomorrow's gonna be the slackest day ever. I'm still considering if i should pick up that phone line or maybe pick up a pen. I haven't been revising. Plus, i'm too lazy to hang out, i'd rather curl up in couch with bags of chips and gorge myself up on both chips and tevee. I'm making myself sound like an oompah loompah, oh well, can't be bothered to keep on else's track and do shopping. I'm far off better alone.

And i pray that weekends would come, cos i'm always busy on weekends. I hate weekdays, its killing me that today's only wednesday. Think about it, tmr's gonna be tevee day, and sentosa the next. Saturday's gonna be shopping day. I want to spend off all my vouchers.

Let's all go people watching-the best way to kill time.

2007-03-13T11:26:00.000+08:00

I've decided to put my old self behind, and i'm still waiting for that new one to appear, pretty soon. Alvin and ronghui wants me to get baptised as soon as possible. I wanted to, but would mom even approve?
And i've heard marcus wee is getting baptised by the end of this month. Hurh.

*pushes him aside*
*cuts his line*

I want to get baptised earlier than him, hahahahhaha! Yeah, this is how bad i want to get baptised.
And i'm waiting for benedictine and jia xin's apporval too. I think all of us would end up in post encounter again, anyhow.

I'm such a lame ass. I shouldn't have gone to the previous post encounter, waste of my time.

Okay, my baptism form is getting dry after the encounter camp. I've got a few mission to do.
I'm going to prove to alvin that i take encounter srsly, haha.

Ronghuiiiiii!!!!!! Must baptise me okay?!?!

I'm spastic, who likes to take spastic photos.

2007-03-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

I lost my diamond stud...

DDDDDDD:

Okay, fine. Bless that man whoever finds it on the road, he must be suffering from poverty. I must say i'm the happy-go-lucky kind, cos i wasn't really pouring my heart out on it.
Deuteronomy8:1-8
Marcus, you seriously need to get a new phone. N70's keypad is bloody small that i had to squint and kept getting errors each time i dialled my mom's number, even in the most crucial moment. And you guys should love my rocking mother, cos she kept laughing at me when i told her about the most devastating news that any mom could hear.

me; erm, mom....*puts on a very low/sad voice, for real* i lost my diamond stud on my way to ps.
mom; huh? i cant hear you.. *static noises*
me; *repeated what i've said*
mom; ourhhh, hahahahhahahahaha! nevermind lo, i think next time you need to wear the plastic one.
me; omg, serious? you're not angry or anything?
mom; if being angry could find the stud back, then i'll raise my voice a lil louder, but no point right?
me; errr, yeah...

Haha! So yeah, i wasn't really disappointed though i've let her down too many times. I kept losing my things recently. First my cellphone, then my contacts then onto diamond stud. Crapshit.
And i ate carbs to lift up the weight, my khaki kept me entertained all the time, thank you very much. They never fail to keep me laughing even in sad times. I wonder why it never happened to me with others...
Ate, joked, crapped and laughed with yohan, yossie, vera and marcus ie. Some holy laughter striked me along the way at pastamania and ichiban sushi.

*yossie and marcus were talking about ghosts and being possesed*
me; *listens attentively*
*conversation eventually stopped*
me; *glanced at yohan, laughs hysterically*
everyone; *stares*
yossie; omg, she's possesed.
me; *laughs even harder, almost fell out of the chair*
marcus; siao, laugh for what sia..
me; *maxxxxxxxx*

You know, i'm not the kind who believes in getting possesed, its just that something funny just hit me. Marcus's pratical joke is the lamest yet the funniest ever. Not literally sick like most of you would predict, just some logic and common sense jokes.
Burned all the carbs as we all danced to the beat:D Love dancing, lol! And we were dead beat that after, went home eventually.
Yossie's going for camp this thurdays to saturday, which means that we wouldn't be able to chill at sentosa. Crap, so there'll only be me, yohan, vera and marcus. I miss martin anyhow, he said he'll be back by june? July? I don't know.
I'm seriously broke right now, and mom's cutting down my monthly pocket money/allowance. Yucks.
April's coming, i hate aprils. Cause there's so many things going on like birthdays. Don't ever remind me if you ever fall on march/april. Plus, i need new tricks for my april fools combo.
The good thing is... April fools' coming, and i will/shall scare the hell out of a person. And i manage to, every year, and everytime. So you guys better stay out of my sight.

The other sad thing is that kelly clarkson's drake is coming out on april too, avril lavigne is alrdy out. Waiting for ciara, patiently.
Okay, call 1800-112-donate-to-caroline-roberts like right NOW!

2007-03-11T18:09:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!!! I"M BACK FROM CAMP!!! And i've got so many things to blog about. Hmm, let's start with friday.
Friday was so-so, i actually thought that thurdays was the last day of school, on the other note, i thought i wouldn't need to attend school, but just for the maths trail, lol.
Maths trail was fun, it could have been better if it was called ~~maths trail~~ The amazing maths trail race, lol. I did a bloody interview. Thought it was some survey but they actually took video of it. Omg, i pray it wouldn't be played publicly in school, if not i shall kiss goodbye to my social life. Dominuque was being the lame ass back then, haha, anyhow.
After which i headed for the encounter camp. Yes, straight after maths trail. Vicki was being the gooed-eyed on guys. She kept saying that she doen't like this group cause there ain't any shuai ge, LOL.
Perhaps the guys were giving her their backside, so she couldn't see clearly.
LOL, i realised that male saints are pretty handsome. So conclusion is, if you wanna date a handsome man, go SAJC.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!

There's this guy called kennedey who is pretty cute. Erm, what i meant was his action, i don't know about the looks (tick-tock-tick-tock), but nevermind. Alvin was being funny throughout. And it's hard and difficult to laugh at his lame jokes ALL BY YOURSELF! I laughed pretty loudly, like really, and everyone in the room kept stared at me, after which giving each other exchange stares. Urgh, bloody hell. I think it was the same case as the mr low thingy, whereby i will get the joke first, and laugh hysterically, and eventually stop laughing when others got it.

I gotta say, i have a good sense of humour, yes?

And i met my long-lost primary 4 friend during the encounter. Man, we're from the same church and what i recalled was that she was all about negative then, but she's alright now, praise God.
So far, encounter was okay. I'm blessed to have rong hui and i get to meet other new friends. Now i've learnt how to step out of comfort zone and reach out to many other people.
Ya think it's good? I think its bad, way bad.

Cause i got the feeling that i'm having more and more love by other people outside my s.family. Uh-oh, but anyhow, they'd never appreciated after all.
Qingyu wasn't even there for me during the encounter for some batam trip. What trip? Massage trip -.-'''

THANK YOU RONG HUI FOR EVERYTHING!! STEPHIE, ZHI YING, BENEDICTINE, PEI SHAN, EE LING, CHRISTINE, JIA XIN AND JING YU!!!!!!!
I fell thrice, i counted. Erm, not fell as in 'fall down', it was meant to be like getting slain? I dunno, but yeah. I think ony christians knows right? Any doubts, answers will be answered right at expo, hall 9, FCBC :D

And what is a trip without pictures? - lifeless.

Ahahaha!!!

Oops, i moved.

I call it-i was suffering from C-O-N-S-T-I-P-A-T-I-O-N. Shit is hard from ass.

I screwed my smile, squinted cos the sun was glaring.

Moved again.

Stephie, jia xin, rong hui, me!

Benedictine! :D

My girls, :D

Marcus wee is cute with his ah-go-go glasses. (He looks like a fly/mosquito that tries to bug us, no offence >:D)

2007-03-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

I felt like dying, yet i'm still living.
I'd always thought that life's unfair,
But somehow, i managed to take chances and opportunities in life.
A little dedication and a simple apology goes a long way.
So right now, i'm gonna start a new, for a new term.
But first thing's first...

I'm sorry God, if i'd ever let you down, and if i'd ever bargained.
I'm sorry mom, for not being obedient.
I'm sorry chun zhi, for ignoring your difficulties when you always heard much of mine.
I'm sorry lucinda, for hating you very much in sec one (beginning of the year).
I'm sorry kar yee, for spreading out the mr roy tan thingy.
I'm sorry katherine, for calling you lame for most of the time.
I'm sorry clarissa, if at any point of time i'd offended you.
I'm sorry ai jia, for bugging you always about raymond.
I'm sorry raymond, for the otherwise.
I'm sorry melvin, for having fun sabotaging you.
I'm sorry vicki, for calling you selfish or even a fishball face.
I'm sorry vera, for killing your social life, always.
I'm sorry johan, if i'd every treated you unkindly and if i'd threw harsh words down your face.
I'm sorry marcus wee, for being jealous of your long eyelashes, i dunno how they grew that long.
I'm sorry marcus ang, for disliking you at some point of time, thinking that you were somewhat unreasonable.
I'm sorry qingyu, for ignoring what had been said.
I'm sorry yohan, for any nasty comments.
And i'm sorry to everyone, if i had ever harmed you.
If you've seen your name, then please accept my apology, i hope you do the same. Oh God, please forgive me.

And of course, thank you melvin, for the maths tuition that we did earlier on. Algebra wasn't my kinda thing, and thank you for helping me overcome it all. I would also wanna thank you for sharing the same tuition teacher as me. All in all, thank you for saving my maths results, i'll help you with science kay?

I'd just received my ppr.
I wished bus rides could be long,
So i could unwind and listen to the melody i've played in my mind.
But walking back home seemed to be the most difficult part.
The thought of my ppr swept me beneath.
Broke down, having nothing to say.
At that point of time i wished i could fit in grase's luggage,
And being thrown down the belt, 'take me to indonesia'.
To find my mom, and cry to her, holding tight to what i've done with my results.
But she's gone for now, away to honkong.
I pray for journey mercy and hopefully she'll get business right.
I missed her, and how i wanted to pour out everything about my results and progress in school.
I'd just wanna say,
Thank you, Almighty One.
You know i had never achieved much of these, ever.
You are mighty to save, and i thank you for it.
For all the A1s that i've achieved, i've never gone this far.
It may be low for some people, but to me it was unpredictable.
Having five combo hit, i'd reckoned it was by faith.
I managed to get rid of my sixes, moving on to fives.
Screw english, i'll keep going for a two.
I'll continue working hard cause i know You'll stand before me, shielding my way.
To love me and to protect me.
The high road's getting bumpy, thank you for guiding me, protecting me and making me feel so peacful and constant.
Thank you, for letting me understand what the term 'love' is.
I know i'm lacking of it from the family, but i've found out that when one descends, the other heightens.
That's what i've felt about people around me.
Promise-somehow i can't work out what they mean.
A promise's a promise.
So what's a promising love?
I shall forget about the promise we've made.
But thank you marcus ang, for even caring about me.
And for even wanting to show some fartherly love to me.
So far, i've never felt the way you promised earlier on.
Maybe you might forget, but i should still stay appreciative.
Thank you, even if i'd never felt it before.

I felt so bad, not having support from my family for my big day.
Encounter.
Thank you johan, for being there too, even if you'd planned it all along.
I don't mind not being sent to the venue,
I can find my own way from school, and back home.
God will lead the way.

Thank you everyone in the family, for loving me even a little bit,
I'm appreciative enough to accept it.
But something's lacking,
And i'm not complaining.
Still, i'd like to add life, even in the most difficult situations.

Perhaps family love is descending, while my other focus heightens.
Or maybe it was the other way round, to other people.
I never intend to walk throught that door, with a simple goodbye.
And hello to other faces.
But someday i would.
If only i could carry on any further.

I'm still having doubts, and many times i contemplate about this love we're having.
You kept saying, God will come through this madness.
But it's hard to believe, and i'm still struggling.
I've seen many of them feeling so left out.
Cause when one plus one equals two, nothing to them feels unbeatable.
I felt sorry for that person,
But i couldn't manage to give you a hug, to make up for it.
I hated myself for not being able to do it.
Because i know, right now, you actually needed me the most.
I've been there, done it all, repeatedly.
And no one had ever asked me if i was alright.
Perhaps this was the culmination of such behaviour of mine.
I'm lacking love, and i'm not giving it.
I hate myself somehow, for not letting the initiative to care for you even further.
I'm sorry katherine, i really am.
I'll struggle along my way,
But promises in me could never be made or guranteed.

We just need patience, a lot of patience.

I couldn fit in a two page essay on this, but somehow i digress.
I don't want to piss others off any further.
All i wanted, was to close my eyes and feel appreciative of what i've done,
What i've achieved,
Or even what i've been lacking.
Thank you for making me feel so sad and emo at this point of time,
Thank you for making me feel like i'm the biggest accomplishment ever lived.
Thank you, for whatever you had promised to give, but did not.
I've always learnt how to take and accept, even in the most difficult times.

Consequences can be made or changed,
But i'm not bagaining anymore.

Goodbye.

2007-03-07T21:20:00.000+08:00

I've realised that many people read my blog. Life's monotonous without fun and excitement right? So i'm the one here who's gonna make people laugh, and keep coming back for more,lol.

First off, PE was alright, at least we wouldn't have to run like madcows again. I can't believe i made it 4th of the girls, for the running thingo. I can run fast too:D Like those rooster who goes peck peck peck, lol. And my standing broad jump was a spectacular one, i manage to get 171, when i used to achieve not more than 165.
Not the exact point, point is, MR ROY TAN TIAN KIAT ALRDY KNOWS THAT KAR YEE LOVES HIM. By whom, shall we blame?

ME : *points to ms ng*
*curse to ms ng*
*stares at ms ng*
*pushes blame to ms ng*

Ahahaha! Well it started off when me, estelle, lucinda and kar yee had to stay back to take picts of different venues in school, we even told ms ng (our art teacher) about kar yee's newest crush. Which is mr roy tan. Surprisingly, she believed what we've told her cos we reckoned that she thought it was only a lame joke. But after all, when we headed towards the library, it was such a coincidence that mr roy tan was there, marking worksheets. Kar yee, obviously, ran away from the room, leaving all of us in fists of laughter. Haha, and ms ng actually told him about it, and he went like ''huh?''

HAHAHHAHAHAH! And oh, kar yee eventually denied that she still loves him, said that she moved on and fell in love with my dear sernior. LOLOLOLOLOL! I couldn't say i wouldn't dare to type down his name, as much as i want to. But i'de better play at the safe side cos i know he might be reading this now, so yeah.

I'm just gonna say : kar yee loves mr roy tan AND_______! LOL.

Movie with marcus ie, vera and yohan today. And oh i saw this acjc couple, who really disgust me. I'm not stint to see much of these, and couples's chemistry and everything are so conventional. I digress to but i woild like to say i'de want to marry a caucasian boyfriend. Cos i want handsome and pretty babies. Rock on, chee-axx.
Anyway, vera and yohan were off to a different planet when we were on our way to somerset, so i kinda caught up with marcus ie a lot. There was this couple, again, holding hands and hugging each other, in the middle of the road( like literally), and he gushed somehow :/ I swear i saw that. And this was the hint of the culmination that he obviously had a girlfriend, lol. And he's trying to deny he's buying a gift for his girlfriend, when the lie was, he was just getting something fo his god-sis. Yeah, right.
Dreamgirls was so-so. You can't change an okay movie to a great movie, i don't understand why it made it big this time, same as the pursuit of happyness. Story line was bullshit, but singing and musical was soulful and powerful. I love jennifer hudson, i swear, she'd even been able to kick beyonce off her spot, take charge of the next soulful rnb. I shall catch up with american idol now.
Martin's gonna do his master in china, i laughed the moment i heard that. Marcus too, is doing his college at china, haha! He said he's afraid that he would be able to speak like those chinese. Like real fluently. Yohan's getting cute at this topic:

marcus; walao, i scared ar, when i come back to indo or s'pore i'll talk like those chinese *pulls off chinese accent*
yohan; haha, but where you want to go?
marcus; i dunno, maybe shanghai.
yoha; oh, shanghai. shanghai is machine gun.
vera; machine gun? why machine gun? *looks at me with quizzical look*
me; eh, i not sure. maybe shanghai's settlement and government specialises in machine guns?
vera; oh.
yohan; no la, they talk like machine gun.
all 3; huh?
yohan; ya what, they talk very fast mah. Then biejing uses the tounge to curl, like really really curl.
all 3; HAHAHAHAH! we thought shanghai specialises in machine gun! *lol*

Listen by beyonce is nice, pretty soulful. I wanna buy the soundtrack. For those people out there, who takes instruments, performance, lyrics and singing as a passion, then this movie, i recommend.
But please, don't blame me on the stroy line. LOL.
(But it was okay, anyhow)

2007-03-06T16:42:00.000+08:00

( As promised to low kar yee, i shall blog the ever-oh-so-wonderful things about her not-a-secret anymore crush, that is, her adorable mr roy tan)

And as i predicted, mr roy tan must have known distinctively that the whole class was talking about him, yelling that kar yee loves him, haha!
Chemistry was a huge bummer, i burned my thumb. Okay, not practically burn it, just scald, and it hurts real bad. Screw the test tube, if it wasn't for it, i'll be writing my words perfectly fine. Nevermind.
I saw Zheng hao again today. But too bad, bus 33 was so crowded, i only managed to have a slight glance. And when i secretly hoped that he would sit on an available seat beside me, this acs gay guy just scooted his way for it. Crapshit, if i ever neet him in anchorage, he'd better run away.
Oh, new blog skin by the way, i got so bored of the other one. Ai jia and kar yee had been complaining about chatterbox so yeah, there's your cbox (:

And not to mention what i just promised, today's english lesson was fun, mrs goh makes lessons fun. Ms ang is downright lame, soft, petite (in a sense, easy to bully by the guys), and worse of all, i couldn't understand what she'd just taught today. I need maths tuition, or at least atp, i don't bloody care. I'm gonna ask my mom to come to school this thursday for the parents'meeting session, then complain about why i was not chosen to be on atp, and demand for my seat to be changed. This can go on forever- me bragging about my class, class environment, sec3s and sec4s in my block, and nevertheless, maths atp.
So back to where i was distracted, kar yee was chosen to be an oral modal in class today, so here goes.

mrs goh; okay! Take one, ready? camera and action!
me; LOL.
kar yee; *walks into class, giggling and laughing all the way*
mrs goh; kar yee, wait stop. how can you walk into the examination room laughing like that?! the teacher might think that you're crazy!
kar yee; *laughs harder*
mrs goh; eh, the teacher must be the thinking that there's something on her/his face, if not then why are you laughing?
germain: *shouts* AIYAH, IF IT WAS MR ROY TAN, SHE FAIL LIAO LA!
whole class: woooot, ahah, hahhahahahahaha.
kar yee; *blushes and looks away* (i think)

So that's about it. And english lesson is so fun, it's so unusual to not hear boring stuff of verbs, adj and nouns from mrs hannah tan, since she's our english teacher last year. Today's english lesson, is all about doodling haha! I drew a scientist, melvin too. Germain drew some guy with extremely huge boobs, taking a shower, while kar yee drew some uni-sex guy taking a shower. We all had a good laugh.
Sometimes, i'm just too far out of the people around me, i don't know if i'de ever belong. At some point of time, you'll find yourself feeling a different extend of feelings from others, and other people tried to comprehend what was it all about. No biggy, take today's music lesson for example, with mr low.

mr low; *hands on guitar* so class, harmony is notes stacked up together. *plays music from laptop*
*slow, soulful music and singing plays*
mr low; *keeps gabbing about melody and harmony*
mr low; *tunes in with guitar* Does this melody that i'm playing suits the music?
whole class; *answers half yes, half no*
mr low; then what about this one? *plays another melody form guitar*
whole class; *same answer-half yes, half no*
mr low; its a yes, it plays the same tune. what about this one? *plays hippy melody from guitar*
whole class; *keeps quite, gave a shot as a yes*
mr low; NOOOOO! how can this be the same??!!! *plays the exact same tune, sings jingle bell.
me; HAHAHAHHAHAHA! JINGLE BELL?! what the hell, so funny, HAHAHAHHAHA!
whole class: *keeps quite, stares unpolitely* * they must have not realised it was jungle bell*
mr low; yes, its jingle bell, *sings and plays to jungle bell*
whole class; ohhhh! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
me; its not funny anymore la ://

See? Somethimes, i just don't belong. Tsk, nevermind, moving on.
Grase and i decided to join this music thingo, or whatever. I'm gonna pay a solid 75bucks for it. It'd better be worth it cos i think courses at believersmusic are hard core expensive. Yamaha's a nuisence. They spent like two lesson of your 500bucks course, stringing and unstringing the bloody guitar, instead of going through the chords and teaching how to tune the guiatar,lol.

Kay, i shall end here, before you guys go *la-la-la* after reading this hell-long post.

2007-03-05T18:59:00.000+08:00

Today wasn't so bad after all, God is good.

First of all, mother tounge oral was cancelled. You had no idea how i happy i was back then in class, shouting and screaming like some kiddo scoring the highest mark for a spelling bee. At first i'de actually considered, early in the morning, before school, to let my aunt sign some paper, in order to be excused from school, haha.

I never knew i could be absent from school for no reason. It happened, most of the time, and i'de get away, most of the time. LOL. Sometimes, enticing the bad things can make a huge deal here.
School was okay, ipw was fun. My group decided to do on some chemical car thingo where your portable car, that does not use the function of remote or batteries, goes zooom zooom zoooooom with chemicals like magnesium strip, dipped onto acid.
And we couldn't find the perfect group name, so i suggested a name that we'de heard from in church, since we're all from the same church. Wasn't a second too late that katherine blurted out a MIGHTY TO DRIVE group.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!! I LAUGHED SO HARD.

Whatever about chemicals, i cannot comprehend and couldn't be bothered on such stuff, for at least now. Probably cause of maths. Yeah, maths is to be blamed. Esp when ms ang is around, urgh, curse curse curse. It's so irritating when NIE had to send an intern (whatever she is qualified as) to our school. Ms ang's voice is like so soft and i couldn't hear her, even when i'm seated on the 3rd row, bloody coweyezzz. I was unable to digest everything that's written on the board, and now i realised that i need maths tuition NOW!!!

I WANT TO GO FOR MATHS ATP, AND I DON'T BLOODY CARE IF ANYONE THINKS I'M CRAZY, I CARE TOO MUCH FOR MY MATHS RESULTS. I WANT/NEED/DEMAND FOR MRS GOHHHHHH, noooooooooooo!!!!!!
I'de kill for maths atp, seriously. And when i asked mrs goh about it, her reply, was the faintest smile i'de ever seen.

!#%$^%&^*(+?>!!

Okay, life's unfair. I should bang my head on the wall repeatedly til i get smart enough to answer qn number 31 in my textbook. And perhaps i'll show mrs goh those bumps and bruises, in order to convince her that i should deserve to go atp. Yucks, clarissa's under the special care of mrs goh, i'm not :/ I'm a jealous shitttarse right now. Melvin, you're in atp, you should teach me during class, i don't care.
Let's flunk next term's maths exams/tests and hopefully, i'll be selected to atp :D

Today's MY lucky day. I met zheng hao on the bus!!!!!!! HOHOHO! And if you're an old http://guess-addict.blogspot.com OR http://villadawest.blogspot.com OR http://dacherie.livejournal.com reader, then you should know who zheng hao is. Yes, none other than my eyebag guy, which i used to fight for with vicki, lol. Anyway, there's a difference between eyebag, and eyecandy, so please.

Went to tiong for sakae sushi with vicki. I don't know what the hell happened to the others but oh well. Had tons of sushi, yummo. And i crave for salmon so much, but hadn't had enough blings to afford a plate of salmon sashimi, so i ordered tons of salmon sushi. I practically ate all the salmon, leaving the riceball out, so i'de played with it and stuffed them in between plates so that i won't get caught red-handed for wastage of food.

Tell me i'm cheeky:D

Bought hotel paper, they don't have ''feelin' you'' available, crapshit. Seriously, i would have still been a big fan of michelle branch, supporting her this very moment IF she hadn't even joing the wreckers, which seriously is screwed. She's far off better alone than to jessica.

Kay, maths maths maths and more maths, *bangs head*.

First 15 minutes:

2007-03-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

You want to be good,
So you try to be good,
You prove to everyone that you're good,
But seriously, you're just not that good enough
To laugh, cry sing or dance.
You can never be
.
It'll be better if we embraced a smile
Tyrna act like strangers
But we distinctively know each other
But somehow i contemplated
Ponder over realistic things
It's so near, yet so far
It's the acquaitance that kills
.
.
All that precious time
But i just feel so in-between
Someday, i'll just keep pretending, that you'll stay
Dreaming of a different ending
I can't keep something that i never had
.
.
I'll just sing a melody to myself, breathe every little piece of me.
And all the pain that i suffered, and all the ache that i endured, will all be gone, just like an expired breath.

2007-03-04T17:54:00.000+08:00

( I don't know how to start my post so maybe i'll just go straight to the point)

Had our first briefing on the encounter camp, which is this coming friday. Johan's a lonely shit, he's got no one but himself, haha. Seriously, i don't know why i'de ever turn up the camp too. Ronghui's nice, but the other participants were not. Esp this sec 3 girl whom i seriously forgotten her name. She's pretty hostile, not the kind of person i'll get along well.

me; *offers hand* oh hello, i'm caroline
hostile kia; *blushes, turns her head down, walks away*
me; wtf.
ronghui; eh, don't like that la, intro yourself la.
me; *offers hand effortlessly this time*
hostile kia; *shakes hands, didn't reply me with her name*

So that's the reason why i couldn't get her name. And i realised that she's the oldest in the group (yet acts as the youngest), and there's another sec1 and p6 girl coming. I hope they won't bring me down, or much less disappoint me like the first time. Jeez, whatever.

Just as i expected, none of ther girls turned up. Either this or either that, i don't give a damn about it anymore. Church was nevertheless, fun. I had a hard time going around the hall cos it's so dark and cold.
I swear i bumped onto somebody while trying to find my way. And that was when i realised that i lack vitamin A, omg, i'm having night-blindness, haha. But the worse thing of course, i bumped onto marcus.

!#$^%?!^&%@

He was doing ushering, haha, damn gay on the suit. But nevermind, back to topic. I miss cell group, why must it always fall on saturdays, and that's like the only day when i had time to go shopping, and cellgroup starts at 5, seriously, i hadn't had much time. So forget about it, screwed.

Oh yeah, here are the picturs as promised, so sorry for the delay. Vera: Don't fault me if i had inserted any embarassing or illegal stuff on the net, it's my private blog so you can't do anything about it, haha.

Don't say i didn't warn you.

2007-03-03T15:40:00.000+08:00

Hello, here i am blogging at mrs ang's house.
I know, i know, i'm supposed to be in sentosa right now where it's clear and sunny with my khaki love but guess what?
YOHAN IS GROUNDED.
Wtfffffffomggggg. Nevermind. So here i am, anyway. But before that at home, i pondered if i should get here while telling out all of my problems and worries to vera but she wanted me to go,anyhow. So i just followed and i seriously had no idea why i even agreed. So i practically cancelled my meetup with zhiying and went off to boon lay.
I hadn't known then, where i was going, but somehow, i think it's somewhat compulsory.
So when i reached their place, all i gave was shit, i didn't bother nor care what was going on or what is going to happen after, i just sat there, doing nothing, feeling my presence as absent.
Even though i didn't want to go, all i did was to show that my presence was there, to prevent any other conflicts or whatsoever that normal girls call it.

But after a few hours, it turned good. Thank god for it. I remembered i used to lack love and attention in s.family, but i don't know whether it's happening again now.
And i'de always hate the way that happens cos it's making me wanna breakaway.
Yeah, breakaway in a sense of leaving.
I had fun today, i kept laughing at clarissa non stop. I cooked up a storm, i don't know if anyone appreciates it (besides mrs ang), but nevermind. All of them say it's too spicy and everything, try shuffling a whole bag of chilli on your face, hahahahahahaha,lol.
I was just kidding.
And when me and clarissa hit for the kitchen, we made an incredible feat, we're good at shouting out loud (~~lol~~SOL) to marcus ang, hahahaha. Any problem? GO LOOK FOR MARCUS,hahahha. I know he got pissed back then, tyrna finish he's marking while we're up to nuisance.
Oh and cleaning up is the best part. I swear _____ and ________ could make good couples. Like housewife and housedad:D That's the kinda couples i wanna see these days. Sigh, tsk.
Funny part: scenario-cleaning kitchen.

clarissa; omg, why is the floor so sticky?! MARCUS(ang)!!!!!!!! Do you have a dry mop so i can mop it clean?
marcus ang: *passes mop*
Clarissa; *starts mopping, after which left the room*
Me; * washed hands, didn't dry it clean so the floor was wet again*
Clarissa; *walks into the kitchen*
Me; *almighty cheeky mood is back* CLARISSAA!!!OMG, YOU JUST STEPPED ONTO RONNIE'S PEEEEE!!!
Clarissa; *shrieks,shouts,complained,cried .....* omg, you serious? Did he really pee-ed on the floor?
*both marcus walks in*
Marcus wee; huh? he really pee on the floor ar?
me and kat; yahhhhhhh!!!
marcus ang; serious? cannot be la.
clarissa; *tries to analyse things out while walking to and fro, stepping on the wet side each time*
me; omg you just stepped on it again.
clarissa: *screams, shouts,complains,shrieks.*

*and it happily continued 3 times*

So.... When the screaming, shouting, complaining and shrieking, happened 3 times, clarissa made her way to the bathroom to wash her feet 3 times, without even realizing it was only a practical joke.
yeah, she really did took it seriously.

Kay, everyone must have thought i'm mad (esp marcuswee, i dont know why. he's being so quiet), cos i laughed hysterically at clarissa each second without fail.

Ate, laughed and played mahjong with the family.

AND I WANT TO GO SENTOSA WITH MY KHAKIS. P-E-R-I-O-D.

2007-03-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

Hello, i'm not emo and pissed of right now, instead the other way round, thanks to my khakilove who makes me laugh without fail, everytime.
So yeah, towned with yohan, vera and marcus, didn't do much but went to watch the pusuit of happyness.
Yes, i did not spelt that wrongly. Its happiness with a Y instead of an I. Buy a vowel?
Anyway, the movie was okay, i can't seem to comprehend why it made it no.1 in US box office. For those who aren't interested in touchy and emo kind of movie, then this is not the kind you should head for. But for those who wants something more like an inspired true stories and meanings of life, then this is the shot. The movie's all about pain that people suffered, determination, earnesty and of course, happiness. And for the last half and hour of the show, i kept crying throughout and everyone kept staring at me giving those 'are you okay' look, LOL.
Just touched, really touched.
Dreamgirls next week. I'm so busy these days, i hadn't had enough sleep. Thank God there's no more biology courses tmr so i think i'll have at least ample time to sleep. Esp for tomorrow, Big Day!
Yeah, big day that i've always been looking forward to ever since my birthday. And my birthday had alrdy passed for 2 months mind you. Thanks to the bloody rain, it's always been cancelled.
(PICS TMR, I PROMISE!!!!)

Just so you know, i'm going out again with my khakis to sentosa tmr:DD
(me + vera + yossie + yohan + marcus)
I MISS MARTINNNNNN.

2007-03-02T12:21:00.000+08:00

Girls are complicated, first they go hippy and high when they find somehting excites them, then a total turn-off whenever emo and emotion comes in to them.
But i gotta say, the people that i hang out with had always had problems with me:/ I don't know why,honestly. (with some people as exceptional). But when we're acquaintances, i tend to socialize a lot and get along pretty fine.
Some girls can be so cocked up sometimes, all they care about was to bother on stuffs that are beyond monstrosity, with the help of their monstrous mind. They're so narrow-minded sometimes that whatever they think or do can be monotonous, hopelessly beyond monotony.
I don't get what's the big deal. A deal's a deal. A promise's a promise. People should respect the fact that others trusted you, making yourself having the authority to know something, yet you exclaim about it. It's not the first, it happened before and it keeps continuing. That's the past you're talking about, not present. Obviously there's a difference between past tense and present tense. It's the same concept really, but you misunderstood AND you broke the little huge deal here, called promise.
And it doesn't matter what sparked the fire, it happily continued, without stopping .
Get a life seriously.
I trusted you, and yeah, that would be my first mistake. And if anyone bloody hell knows what i'm talking about then you too better keep your mouth shut. I can stand people talking and giving me shit, but i hate the way they misjudge me, putting me in a wrong position that they think they're plausible opinions should be true, But it's not.
Contribution to the spiritual family is no biggy. But after trying to contribute something, someone would just pop up a 'i hate blabla bla and blablabla cos he's bla bla bla and blablabla'. Seriously, i'm sick of your complaints, but i procrastinated to stop you.
Another mistake.
Such a bigshot, i hate the sight of it. Don't be gross and don't do it infront of my face cos i can't tolerate much of these. Influenced by the wrong thing, and never produce what is right. Smack down on it to my face, i'll make you bleed for sure.
As you for-see, guy's aren't a huge problem. Don't put age into a matter. Flirt isn't the correct term. It's called being comfortable, mind you. So what if i ever talked, walked, communicated or went out with a guy above my age? Does it really mean that i like him? Oh, so in your case, it meant that i seriously like Yohan martin or even marcus ie cos i hang out with them alot?
No sense.
I'm bloody pissed right now. By reading this long complaint of post, i could guarentee that you contemplated me as a huge meanie and i should wear a sign saying 'beware'. But please, this is basic respect that i give to people, but never had in return.
Honestly speaking, i'm never too hard to please and as long as we're fine, then i'm cool.

end of bloody post.bye.

2007-03-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

Hello dear all. I'm back finally, after a hard day of tuition and tuition and nothing but tuition. Lol, but i gotta say, it's prety productive and i've gotten all my maths/science doubts cleared out. Mr Hartono freaked out when i kept giving him the sceptical look when i'm trying my best to answer a question,lol. I call that, sceptism in the form of sarcasm.

And that could be the reason why i couldn't turn up for kat's birthday, so sorry.

And i hate hate hate mdm Neo for being so unreasonable and unfair. Like she literally shifted 2/1 and 2/2's class arrangement with 5/1 and 5/2. to think that their the graduating classes, they should have extra attention so they shifted to our place, which was the peaceful and quitest block ever. And now we're being samdwiched with the N classes which are noisy and the guys tend to get distracted real easily.
I hate mdm neo, she's so unreasonable and just because their graduating, doesn't make any difference to the sec2s. So what if it was Os or Ns, we're having streaming this year mind you. Urgh, so cocked up. Even mrs goh's disagreement and 2/2's petition wasn't good enough to chage her fucked up bloody mind.
Yucks, *curse* *curse* *curse*.

And on top of that, i've got a pathetic 15/25 for my history, which is beyond the unexpected for me, cos i've always expected As for myself, but bloody hell, nevermind.
Tuition on the other hand was alright, i love the way O level graduates talk, so 'systematic', lol. I mean seriously, i find Yoan's teaching real prouctive unlike teachers who always do a leap jump from basic to intermediate. Jeez. And yeah, we studied for a solid 2 and a half hours, and i've never done that for tuitions cos i only am capable to stick arnd my butt for an hour max. Not at least for like about 2-3 years ago.
So after which, me and yohan and vera went to ichiban boshi to have dinner,yumyum. Loves sushi, and oh, their salmon tataki is nice. A half grilled one, and i had teriyaki.

Dealers are such a nuisance, i dread to go shopping now, lol. Oh yeah, movie tmr with my khakis, love.

Everyone's reading my blog, but refuses to tag, crapshit. I hate chatterbox and i'll be changing it soon to a cbox. Soon, yea soon. And Ai jia finds my blog an entertaining one, cos it's all full of gossips 101, and if you're having doubts if a person's hooking with another, yeah, this would be a definite stop.
i'm gonna repeat what i've said in a gazzilion times, THE HOT HOT HOT NEWS IS THAT LOW KAR YEE LOVES MY GEOGRAPHY TEACHER CALLED MR ROY TAN AND WISHES FOR HIM TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER 6 YEARS SO THAT THEY COULD MARRY AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER, LOL.

yeah, i'm serious.

And i find hilary's With Love music/vid and perfume is...well.....not so loved..afterall. She looks disgusting on the video, frankly speaking.

2007-02-28T19:24:00.000+08:00

I'm so hoooked up on online shopping, i don't want to go to stores to get what i want anymore since i'm too busy to do that.
And lucinda's hooked too,lol.
But online shopping can a frustruation sometimes. Like i've seen a couple of people receiving complaints and all and there was this once when they did a trade but the item got bounced back to the sender repeatedly. Tsk, i don't do shipping, that's why:/
And i've gotten myslef a tote, top and a jumpsuit perhaps for kimmy or maybe yaya, or maybe to myself, lol.
And besides that, i think dealers are quite amusing sometimes.

mail conver-
me; hey, i'm interested in the bronze verion necklace, do you do meetups? are prices still nego?
dealer; yeah, i do meetups only at simie mrt staion and bugis/city hall mrt stations. I'll give you a $1 off if we could meet at simie.
me; hmm, that's a lil too far for me cos i live arnd redhill. Okay, i think i'll stick to cityhall.
dealer; okay sure, but i'll still give you a $1 off discount anyway.

What the hell? Only a freaking dollar? Urgh, nevermind. Okay, tmr's katherine's celebration and i'm afraid i couldn't turn up:/

2007-02-28T15:36:00.000+08:00

My kodak camera's cover literally came off out of no reason, crapshit. I guess i need a new one.
No, not the cover, i meant the camera. And dad(lol) wouldn't even lend me for a few days, much less touch it. He's got the fuji? Or was it the kodak? I don't know, but it's really really cool. I can't wait for him to quickly come over to singapore from indo cos i want to spit at him everytime we take neoprints.
The DNA (once again) was a catastrophe. It keeps falling down each second or the minute a strong wind blew. But good thing vicki's mom got to do the job and it eventually stabilized.
I won't be expecting an A cos we haven't got photographs and ms wong kept scolding and she even stalled us from going home. Teacher's are the best staller ever, i must say.
Tmr's katherine's birthday and i had no idea of what to give her. Has anyone bought the present alrdy? Mind if i like, pay a few sum of the share cos i don't think i'll be free to even get one.
Plus, i've been seriously busy these few weeks, tests and exams coming up and there's only one more to go. Yep, chemistry. I hope i score all my ones and As cos i've done pretty badly for biology. A pathetic B4 and i can't believe that i scored higher for chinese.
The first time in my secondary school life, i've managed to achieve a B3 for cheenah, HAHAHAHA! Yeah, my mandarin is that pathetic.
And today the whole class had this training during pe, some high intensity whatever shit. Please, i cant even do an intensity running and they expect me of doing training to a much higer level. I did all my rounds at 1.55minute each but was unable to continue any further. Mr Koh was shocked to see my apperance and everyone told me that i looked seriously pale. Kar yee said that my lips looked as if it's being applied with some sweet pink gloss, haha.
So after running the whole class lied flat on the floor of the parade square and i swear, i slept for a minute or two. Didn't wanna wake up cos i find parade squares are so comfortable, lol. And mr koh got us to do crunches after that and my tummy couldn't take it anymore, i vomitted but nothing came out.

It was then i relaised that i was lactose intolerance, thanks for the info mr koh.

KAR YEE LOVES MR ROY TAN AND SHE COULD EVEN MEMORISE HIS TELEPHONE NUMBER THAT WAS PRINTED ON SOME CONSENT FORM BUT IT WASN'T LONG AFTER GERMAIN TOLD US THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY THE SCHOOL'S TELLY NO. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

me; omg, you memorised his number? From where?
kar yee; there! the consent form for the sungei buloh trip.
melvin; serious? *grabs paper* kay, whats the number.
kar yee; 6+++++++
me; OMGGGGG, you seriously are insane. mr roy tan crazy.
germain; wait, what's the number again?
kar yee; *repeats*
germain; walao, gong la you, its the general office number, you think mr roy tan that stupid to type down his number issit?

me + melvin; HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

(in case you hadn't known, i don't have the school's contact number in mind.)

And yesterday's geography lesson..

me; *turns to kar yee* eh shit, we're getting back our result scripts.
kar yee; huh? serious?
melvin; ya, we are. oh ya, btw right mr roy tan has a girlfriend and they're getting married.
kar yee; WTH, whoooo???!!! omg, i so hate her la. no matter what she could never be as pretty as me.
me; hahaha, your head la you!
melvin; eh, what if its ms lai(ex-math teacher)?
kar yee, Turh! i don't friend her.
me; but they're really close and they speak in chinese together. but both are attached so no chance and no wonder he's eng sucks, no wonder i cant understand his lessons.
kar yee; mr roy tan is admirable okay! uhh, if only he can wait for me for another 6 years. *smacks dreamy looking face*
germain; *heards everything*
germain; *shouts* MR ROY TAN!!!!
mr tan; *turns* what?
germain; kar yee love.......*subsides* you.
kar yee; ehhh!!

It was a good thing that some guy interrupted the conversation between mr roy tan and germain, if not the four of us is gonna be in big trouble.
We could be accused for gossiping, spreading rumours, or even get killed by none other than low kar yee who thinks that mr roy tan is really that admirable, lol!

(by the way if you're wondering who is dad that i mentioned earlier, it's none other than the infamous isnu-pop who's very fond of calling me names such as squirttle or blastoise cos i may spit out saliva at anytime :D)

2007-02-27T19:35:00.000+08:00

Okay i flunked my english test and so you won't be seeing me in the express stream next year anymore. Bye bye triplesiencedoublemathshumanities and life, i'm gonna bang my head over and over again til i get clever again.
And besides that, DNA project was screwed, me and vicki did it like the very last minute and i'de reckon ms wong wouldn't even give us a pass. Decent looking might be, but you'll never know what a person is really like. Schools getting gayer and gayer, yucks. I missed those days where we used to spend our breaks on playing catching and hide-and-seek in the parade square.
I must say, primary school days, never ends.
And if i could pick the perfect timing that i could go back and undo what i've done, that'll most probably the year of 2005. Yeah, i'm gonna study as hard as i could and work the hell out of myself for psle, lol. Joke.
But that's not the point. I watched ellen and tyra banks show at vicki's house today, and that was when her mom gave me a red packet. (haha) And, i was too hooked up on tevee that i hadn't realised that i was pretty late so i rushed off to the bus stop.
I can't wait for streaming, seriously, i just wanna skip these revisions that i have and what i've been hanging on in my bloody classroom, i get pissed really easily these days, i don't know why:/
Anyway i seriously need to go now cos tmr's biology test and i gotta buck up on maths and english.

2007-02-26T19:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, today was a long random day. Nothing special, really. 'Cept that the fact that i went to ikea and ate non stop with vicki, well not exactly non stop, but oh well.
DNA is screwed, hell screwed. And i just realised that all biology teachers are reatardos and idiosos. Yes, well for at least my school. I'm just unlucky to have ms chong last year, and tough luck that i had ms wong this year.
Okay, i'm considering about the medicine/surgery thing that i'm gonna do in life, cos i don't want to end up like some nutard,lol. But anyways, mom gave me a call and asked if i would want to join with Vera to Melbourne for further studies after Os. Uhm, a lil unsure though, cos melbourne to me is an uncertain place that i could fit in. And besides, i've been in Sydney for long enough so i guess i'de better be off there better, but mom doesn't approve it:/
Much less the States. Mom wants to send me all the way to england (most likely london). Okay, that's a lil too far off and i think i should be more realistic, that's what i told her. But ah well, i'de always thought she was a heartless core who dares sends her one and only daughter off to a far away land, LOL, joke *raises hands in surrender*.
It's gonna be 2+ more years(including this year), i can't wait any longer. But i predict it's gonna be a 50-50 kinda thing. But most likely you won't see me sticking arnd my butt here in singapore, lol.

Am i gonna miss anyone?

Hmmm, neh.
*flaps hands*

LOL, joke.

Barf if i cry.

2007-02-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

I skipped post encounter again, omg, this is bad. And here's the bad news too. I realised that marcusang and johan aren't going for encounter, which meant it's only me and L, but turns out that you're only allowed to go for the camp if you're below 17. Dang. That means L wouldn't be qualified to go and hence i'll be going alone. Omg, the thought of going camp alone-it's scary.
But here's the good thing, i wouldn't be exactly alone, i'll be under the good ol' care of Ronghui. And upon hearing that i was like WHAT???!!! Who the hell is ronghui and why do i have to go camping with some stranger that i don't bloody know? Pastors can be unreasonable sometimes, tsk.
But after meeting up with her, i realised she's nice. Petite, bubblyfun and of course, the quirky kind. I hope i get along well with her.
I think i know the reason why i'm put into this kinda situation whereby i'm going for a big encounter without my spiritual fam. Obviously i'm not telling you guys why, cos it's somewhat rather personal. And why the girls just couldn't get along and it seemed that there's always something wrong with them-i think i might know why. Well, all i can say is that God just wants it this way, so that i could concentrate on other stuff (like other people and studies), so that i won't be so slacked and achieve fantastic grades like never before.
Seng ai prayed for me today, her prayer did really hit me. Its not the grade that counts. Now i don't depend on studying anymore, but more to doing the examination by faith, lol. (But that doesn't mean that i won't study!)

A million pieces is a huge sucker. All the tenses are mixed up. Instead of past they used present, which is difficult to read and believe. So i bought the 5 people in heaven and it's a goddamn bloody good book, that i reccomend:D Oh, tuesdays with morrie is nice too:D

I need yohan(for tuition), srsly, like NOW.I can't seem to get the formulas right://
And i need Raymond's help toooooo!!!!!!!

2007-02-24T20:58:00.000+08:00

Today's absolutely not the day to go town. Esp when chingay's today. Everywhere's a mess.

I hate cramps. And today being the second day, i kept crouching and groaning in pain, which woke vera up. And i knew distinctively that i was unwell to even go for thinking day, so i missed it.
And if you think that i'm just finding an excuse to try skipping thinking day, then i'll have to tell you to go to hell. I'm not making excuses up this time, nuh-uh, i swear.
And the minute i woke up, i felt dizzy so i decided to lay down on my bed for a while longer. Wasn't long til i fell asleep and i finally woke up at 11.

-.-''

I want to watch dreamgirls and the pursuit of happyness. Yes, i did not spell it wrongly cos it's spelt that way in the movie.
Or isn't it?
I know the correct spelling is happiness.... Okay, back to the point. I had sushi today :D Chatted for hours with yohan, novita and vera at sakae. I still crave for sushi, no other but sushi. Anyways, i'll be off studying like some madcow and then watch late night movies with bags of potato chips with vera and her sis:D I'm a movie junkie but i never fancied drama series, i don't know why.
Esp chinese ones, well unless its really really good. I don't get what's the huge deal about prisonbreak cos all the while, they're just trying to figure the way out. I haven't seen the best chique fliques so far. Korean ones are okay, but it's always emo and sad, and one of the couple (either the girl or the guy) always dies the last minute when they're gng to live happily ever after. I hate that. Jap ones are cool.
Boa's out. Ciara's supposed to be out alrdy, but something's wrong with the shipping or whatever. I'm still waiting for kelly clarkson and avril, but it'll only be out in april.
*curses*
So i purchased the fabulous bowling soup in the end.
Kay, i'm gonna go off and study hard now for my home econs and geography and biology and chemistry since there's test on all of them next week. I'll be busy for now and i'm gonna chill later watching ugly betty.

2007-02-23T21:51:00.000+08:00

Hello again, i'm just being random and so i'm gonna post a random post right now.

I find isnu an entertaining joke sometimes, lol. I caught up with him pretty much, and im envious that he's got a jazz and a drivers license. Roar.

-msn conver
me; eh, i just realised that i've got heat rash.
isnu; =.= heat rash?
me; yeah the red spots on your body but it'll go away eventually.
isnu; what if it's hot water?
me; neh, that one not rash, its scald. lol.
isnu; lollie, so you don't bathe in hot water.
me; i do, walao, you think i snow queen ar?
isnu; no, eskimo girl.
me; HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

me; eh, you doing business right?
isnu; yep, management and accounting.
me; oh, so you wanna be accountant next time?
isnu, no. BOSS, CEO, MANAGER.
me; of? school-for-the-idiots?lol.
isnu; erm, my companies?
me; yar, companies-for-idiosos. LOL.

Man, he's hard to catch. And oh i recalled this incident when me, vera, cindy and isnu were taking neoprints. And due to the uncomfortable awkwardness, i laughed and barfed out loud that i spitted everwhere. Yes, like literally.Unfortunatley, isnu was right infront of me and he didn't realised that til the camera had captured our picture. I call that a snapshot and vera and cindy were caught by the camera, laughing hysterically and showing that OMGface.
I shall post the neoprint one day. Haha.

I'm not finished yet...

And did you know how lazy i could get when it comes to myspace? I hate seeing one of those 'about me ' qns. It's not that i don't know what to write, it's just that i dont know where shall i start and how much do you want to know about me. LOL. My friends from saudi arabia kept laughing at me.

-msn conver
me; seriously, i hate seeing one of those 'about me' qns. Its just a killer.
lana; omg, yaaaaaaaaa.
saud; woot. nice one carol.

And renne thinks that i'm a 15 year old instead of 14. While lana and saud thought that i was 20+, but after seeing my pic, they declared that i was even below 13, with a good english accent. LOL! I was shy to talk to them at first, but i hadn't realised that they were actually nice people. And i won't hesitate to go over saudi arabia to meet lana and saud, lol.

2007-02-23T19:29:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of getting an iphone, yeah the new one, since i've visited apple.com for the 87764870980 times.
School was uhm, okay. I guess. But anyhow, i was being the good girl around and i did turn up for guides. Unlike many others like vicki and clarissa, lol. Tmr's thinking day, and i'll be bunning up my bloody hair into two plaits, yuck. I need need need need to practise and revise for my set language and notations. Oh and plus algebra, i want to score pretty well this time round:D
Caught up with lim kar yee while queueing for food. I was embarassed that i couldn't figure out his surname. I kept thinking it was Ng, but turns out that it was Lim, jeez.
I'm gonna watch ugly betty tonight. The whole series i hope, then off to nip/tuck. Obviously, with the delay of my algebra and notation that i once mentioned. LOL.
Chee-axxx, i'm gonna at least study 3 hours a day. Serious, i'm crossing my heart.

For the thousand times, i missed hana kimi again. Urgh, and ellen too. I miss cudling my pillow and crouching at the sofa with bags of potato chips. Yeah well, that happened to me a pretty long time ago.
My ama caught vicki and clarissa and this guy at ikea, while they were supposed to be at school for guides, haha, caught them red-handed. You can never run a way forever.

Random post, random thoughts. I'm just kinda curious what will happen on sunday.

2007-02-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

Hello, just popping by 'fore i sleep.
I'm nervous about tmr, i wonder what tmr will be like. Omg, i'm having depression.

And i did have once, mind you. I just couldn't sleep at night and kept shivering like hell each night. Insomonia, yes it is. And what luck it was my psle year. But everything just dissolved after sec1, and i'm loving sec2 for the time being.
I wonder what i'll be and turn out like when streaming's final year, i'll be so stressed and cocked up, urghhhh. The thought of going to 3/1 just kills. I can't wait for mid year-seriously. I prefer big major exams compared to tests cos you could gain more marks.
And loose more marks. But if i really really did study hard for it, i wouldn't right? Besides, big tests are always easier to overtake, yes believe me.
that's why i kept thinking i'm failing cos everyone's scoring full marks throughout.

Oh, and did you know that i can seriously talk very fast, and confuse others? I realise i have the ability to talk fast esp for those tounge twisters.

Edited!

2007-02-22T15:52:00.000+08:00

I hate thursday, yeah well, i seriously do. And on top of that, i've got a pretty last minute notice that today was thinking day, which meant that we, guides had to dress on our full uniform for the whole entire day. WHICH i had to tie my hair in two plaits, which was fugly disgustinggg.
I swear it was the last thing i could ask for.
So i cabbed to school with vickitan and she got to do my belt/scarf and stuff, which i hadn't put effort in doing it myself. And i'm so ashamed seeing everyone's uniform all sewn with badges, mine's still empty, it's all blue-ish and everything. Tough luck, i sewn the wrong badge at the wrong side of my uniform-.-''

I
Just
Couldn't
Care

Algebra's getting on me. The two maths lessons that i had was a torture yet i find joy, lol. Melvin and i kept challenging each other on who could do sums faster. Undoublty, i won:D And while mrs goh called out each and every person for answers, we'll be sitting down at the corner of the classroom to discuss and exchange answers. My name's being called out, thank god he saved me, phew.
And when it was english lesson(which was after maths), our brains were burning hot. Melvin said that his head could just explode and burst and shatter to many million pieces anytime, lol. Like literally BOOM.LOL. It's just so confusing, with all the alphabets switched and stuff. That, i can never be good at. Take left and right for example, sometimes i just couldn't differentiate between them, esp when it's said out in mandarin.
zuo=left?
you=right?
Please tell me that i'm right. And i'm also not the kind who could remember names well. I kept calling vicki as vera and then otherwise.
Must be due to cramming, nvm.
I need my hillsongs to be uploaded, but i'm just too lazy to do it. Oh and did you know that at indo, they sell planetshakers and hillsongs cds? Like all of 'em form the past years. I wanted to get all of them but i hadn't had enough cash, so yeah, i've only got a couple.
Interested? Tag me or something.

Anyway, i'm going to work hard no matter what, i'de kill to go to the science stream. So here's the deal, i'm gonna work hard for streaming so that i could get to tripsciece class, then do well for Os, then As(if i'm still arnd s'pore), then migrate to australia to study medicine and surgery,well hopefully.

If not, i'll just join the hillsong band anyhow. Besides, they're at sydney anyway.

Edited: Anyways, i popped by to clarissa's blog and i saw somthing funny that made me laugh hysterically at my seat, which i evntually fall out of my chair. My butt hurts right now.

Quoted from clarissa:
katherine made this up. who else.
OCCUPATIONS FOR THE PONfamily;
marcus ang; hotdog seller
lena ang; love potion seller
vicki; marshmallow seller
caroline; rob people
marcus wee; florist
johan; rabbit seller
clarissa; tution teacher
katherine; pet ant trainer

HAHAHAHAHA!!! CAN I BE ANY MORE BETTER THAN A ROBBER??!! LOL. Just because my dad's name is robert, it's not funny to me now.
But vicki being the marshmallow seller, more of FISHBALL seller.
(cos her face looks like fishball, lol)
And marcus being the florist; HAHAHHAHA,OMFFFG.
And johan the rabbit seller; i don't get it, oh, he has bug tooth. HAHAHAHA!
and katherine the pet ant trainer; like who the hell trains ants?
LOLOLOLOLOLO DAMN FUNNY!!!! and what's up with PONfamily?

Sometimes i wonder, what did God do to all these marvelous, creative and funny people. I hardly see any of 'em these days. It's hard for someone to really really make me laugh. Oh well.

2007-02-21T19:05:00.000+08:00

Bus rides are always boring, esp when your ipod is missing, cos your mom takes it away-and which is your only portable source of music, which is the only jamming thingo that you have right now, which is the only excuse to get a new one.
Damn, i'm too lazy to upload mine)):
Anyway, school was retarded, a gone case. I don't feel the right way i should, everything to me feels abnormal now, pretty surprising but yeah. Maybe cos everyone's uncomfortable with me cos i pop by at anytime, gah, whatever.
PE was killer, do you know how much i hated mr james koh when he asked us to like literally run around the school compound? Jeez. Skipped guides again cos i need to bank in some of mom's cheque, which she refuses to do it by herself. It was surprising that it didn't take a long time and so me and vera headed down to old vivo for movie. Ghostrider is a bloody scary show, with all the scary effects and stuff.
But it's not as good and scary as shutter though. Uhm, i don't know.

And since we've got there just in time for the last ticket to be sold out, we ran around the place like some cowshitdungasshole that got everybody irritated but we don't really care. We weren't with our bags so we pushed and shoved at each and everyone that we see. And after getting the tickets, the craving for pastamania had appeared out of nowhere and we ran again JUST to get pastamania. Afterwhich we were late for movie and so we ran again and again back to the cinema and we were huffing and puffing along the way.
I couldn't stop fanning furiously at myself with the free calendar they gave, ha!

And since the effort was paid off, i gained stamina and mr james koh bloody well better get me a pass for 2.4. Turh!

2007-02-20T15:41:00.000+08:00

Hey, yeah i missed the fam bbq, crapshit.

Anyway, yaya and leo popped by with their lil daughter jayla (i remembered her name, would you belive it?). They'll be expecting me to buy a ticket to sydney anytime soon, to very much less catch up with them. But of course if mom approves.
I got bloody 100bucks, muahahahahaha.

Okay, so here's the sad thing, i almost spent all my cny cash on a bloody ipod. But the effort of begging mom to get me a new one instead totally paid off.

eStore.
Mom; i don't get it, why do you need a new one if you alrdy had the old one.
Me; mom, the old one sucked, it's screwed.
Mom; haiyoh, i dont understand, they all have the same functions right?
me; neh, this one can watch videoooo.
mom; like you never watch before.
me; that's why i'm addicted, so get me one!
mom; *turns to salesguy* tsk, teens these days.
salesguy; hehehehehehe.

Perhaps that was my lucky day? So i'm still hanging on to the other currency and i wouldn't hesitate to change them all to s'pore notes once i get there.
I'm suspecting ms wong's gonna give the class a practical test, which i hadn't study, even a least bit. But i'll try to. And oh, the maths surprise test is giving me nightmares, it haunts me everytime.

And did you know that i got my mom and aunties and cousins to do my damn bloody art? HAHAHAHA, they all said my drawing and art was good, but upon seeing me colouring and sketching effortlessly, they decided to give it a try and i made sure that they're doing the right thing in order to achieve an A.
They better do, if not my overall marks are screwed, urgh, anyhow. And yes, they'll be seeing me chasing after each and everyone of them with a broom once i stepped to syd.
I'm going back home to s'pore today, omgggg, i don't want to as much as i hated it.

2007-02-20T00:14:00.000+08:00

Thanks jeremy, thanks. If you hadn't known, you're making your tracks a lil far off. You don't even know me, and you're wasting your time, reading my blog and making stupid funny comments about me. I absolutely cannot tolerate such shit talking esp from you. it's nothing but sheer cowardeness cos you don't admit yourself and you're the one whose getting the wrong concept here. So why dont you come to me personally instead of hiding behind the grace of an old tagboard, which we couldnt identify your real identity. Besides, i have nothing to be ashamed about, everyone's on the look out for you, not me. Respect comes in a two way traffic, obviously you haven't heard or even learn much of it, others are laughing at you now fyi, not me.
Cos i have absolutely nothing to do with you. It's you who is the one having problems with me, but you make it seemed as if it's the other way round. If that's the problem, then i'm afraid you'll have to get over it.
So the next time you come back here and even before you hesitate to tag, be sure you think TWICE, if not others will be looking out for you.
Spoling a person's name isn't a very good idea, you're making yourself stupid and you're hopelessly beyond cure.

i call it, a person who seeks attention, even in the most extreme foolish way.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, i'm just laughing it off to all the comments. cos srsly, no one had taken much of these srsly,it wasn all meant to be an opinion, none said that it was true. it is Jer3my, who does, jeez, such sensitive people. nvm, nothing to be pissed about, it doesnt concern me anyway, no biggy. Everyone invites you opened arm, cos we thingk that you're some entertaining person who pops by anytime. you must be God's personal joke.

I'm going back home tmr, gahhhhhh. Which means that i'm gonna have to miss the family bbq. Crapshit. I'M GONNA MISS MY COUSINS AUNTIES UNCLES AND NIECE. Man, it's gonna be a year or two til i'll be seeing them the next time, and the next 3 or 4 years til i'll be joining them. I can't wait to go sydney, i just couldn't. I can't seem to move arnd much in s'pore cos you're only legal to do that when you're 21, while in aussie, you just gotta be in a tender, wee age of 16.
Then paintball shooting at 18.
How exciting, it's so boring here, well life's boring. I want to break away and go to other places that i've never been.

Anyone wants to tag with me?

2007-02-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

Instead of mandarin oranges and shark fin, i had tom yum and beef salad for chinese new year. Yeah, Thai food for chinese new year. Pretty weird huh? We used to have chinese food without fail, every chinese new year, but i guess this year was an exceptional. A change that made our family bond closer somehow.
And at the dinning table, i kept playing with my little niece, she's hottie adorable i tell ya. it's sad thing i hadn't brought my camera along.
The food was instanly gone in a few minutes after it's served. My mom had 7 bros and sis, mind you. So you could imagine the number of cousins i have. Yeah, big family, big red packets. Speaking of which, i think most of my cousins resembled someone i knew and met before. William looks like the chinese jerk in my class, who managed to top the class without fail. Hanny looked like some girl which i can't recall her name. And arlo looked like, well, uhm.....nvm.
The old saying are always right, looks can be deceiving and you can never judge a book by its cover. Same goes to red packets, lol. Me and kim were counting our big money furiously and each packet was stuffed with stacks of notes. We kinda thought it could be a few couples of hundred thousand rupiah but turned out it was only ten:/ I coughed momentarily each time my uncles/aunties asked(always the busy bodies)how much i received.
Anyhow, some uncle of mine gave us one million r each. Smack that. I got many different notes, all from other countries. So you might guessed that my whole family actually migrated all the way from australia to the states.
I spent new year's eve mugging, yeah mugginggggg. While the others were playing majong, crap. Why can't there be 5 people playing at once? So yeah, i was bored to death.

All in all, i received 6million r, and 3 c.cards.And what about you?

2007-02-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

Today was a blast, a three in one celebration. First off is chinese new year, the next was me and my aunt's house warming. I bet you hadn't known i just moved?
Anyways, reunion was good. I got to see arlo again, lol. Oh and my niece is bombastically cute. Uh hurh, Her name is anne? Annie? Jane? Jamie? Argh, i can't remeber, i'm bad at names.
Oh i just remembered, it's jayla...or was it kayla?
Nvm, shall ask kimmy.
I reaslise the good thing and the bad thing about reunions. The good, you get to catch up pretty much with one another. The bad, they kept bugging you, insisting you to tell the truth and they intrude your privacy. Take me as the victime for example. My whole family kept insiting that i do have a boyfriend when the truth is, i dont:/

Scenario: at the table, having dinner.
Aunt: Say carol, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Erm, no?
Aunt: Awww, how adorable, don't you lie you fool!
Me; I'm not lying,,,
Aunt; You serious? o.o
Me: Yeah, and why would i lie?
Aunt; okay then, do you like anyone?
Me; No ma'am.
Aunt; then does anyone likes you?
Me; how would i know??!!
Aunt; well they could have at least said 'i like you'
Me; no.
9 i cant rmn any;/)

Me; *turns away, spotted uncle darting suspiciously at me*
Uncle; carol! y'have boyrfriend eit?
Me; *slaps hands on forehead* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Yep, that qns died eventually after i was being questioned by each and every one. Jeez, i never knew australians could be this bad. Perhaps worse than singaporeans, i don't know:/

I had abalone for cny, how bout you? It sucked pretty much, i hated it cos its bad. I just dont know how they cooked it. Yuck. I dread now to go back to simgapore. I dont wanna go backkkkkkk.
NEXT STOP; SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah, you go to college, then graduate, thats the dream.

2007-02-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

Hello, i'm at the sextard airport right now. Love the atmosphere here, where different people with different skin go bustling here and there. A lovely sight i would say.
School was alright. If it wasn't for the home econs practical test, i would have made myself absent. Pretty sinful ey?
I don't have much time yet. I'm hungry and desperate to go shopping. I can't wait to get my sexy ass at indo cos it's where i'll go crazy over stuffs. Yes, red packets baby.
And i think i'll receive lesser than last year. Since my last year's birthday was on the eve of chinese new year, i received double and the amount definetly hit onto thousands.
I was hoping if i could too, this year.
Anyways, i'm gng to go grab a bite and then coach shopping.
Byebye and have a happy chinese new year!

2007-02-15T20:21:00.000+08:00

Today was much less a waste of my day. I did pretty badly for maths i guess, i still can't believe katherine tan could overtake me. Gasp, shall work hard on algebra now.
Though i manage to get my ones, i still don't think it's good enough cos everyone seems to be higher than me. Its not the marks that counts, its the ranking that you've got.
Put that aside, i was pretty pissed with Jeremy for being some annoying trash. Scolded and warned him a thousand times to keep his mouth shut, but to no avail. He thinks that i'm some power crap who only knows how to give it a bigshot.
Please, it's not about me being the leader or what so ever in the group. I think i deserve the respect that they never gave me. Its as easy as that. You earn it from me, and you'll get it. Two way traffic, even an idiot could understand.
Vera messaged me saying that she couldn't catch the movie we've always wanted to watch. So i headed to tiong bahru, but changed my mind and decided to go habourfront instead. Pulled and dragged vicki along, til scars and bruises, yeah, imagine.
Met up with nicole and marcuswee and i can't believe that vicki changed her mind. Omfffg. Pretty pissed but i know i had no choice. Yeah, that's how my day went, wasting and disappointing.

How ironic yeah? Sometimes things are just contradictory.

But on the bright side, i've finally gotten kimmy her birthday pressie and momma's lippies.

a million little pieces

2007-02-14T17:41:00.000+08:00

First and foremost i would like to wish everyone a happy happy valentine's day.

In normal, simple standards of definition, valentine's day is a day where you express and show your love your loved ones/items/lover, what ever you call it.(Correct me if i'm wrong) But to my theory of state, valentine's day is the one and only day whereby i can get gifts with the exceptional of my birthday and cny.

LOL, i'm one happy kid who receives many gifts like choc, sweets ect. Oh and i received gifts that weren't meant to be mine, it's just a share. I don't know how i got it, it just landed on me. And did you know that i gave my prince charming, Jeremy chan two hugs in the day? Pretty chic huh? LOL.
And this morning wasn't a good day to start with. Esp when you've got a bus seat available beside Johan. I tell you, he's one dangerous guy when he's asleep/sleepy. Damn, he almost leaned on me and this acs guy but the whole bus ride was all about nudging him, complaining to him to straighten up. He groaned without a doubt, a pretty loud one that got ms williams shocked. Yucks, and as soon as my eyes got on another available seat, i quickly scooted my way and place my butt on it before anyone does.

I call it, a gay encounter.

I'de reckon everybody's all love blind and sick right now, and i'm a lonely arse who spends her afternoon with my girlfriend, vicki tan. We caught up pretty much. Though i intended to spend my noon with michelle, she came up to me all of a sudden, saying that she changed her mind. Lame, i know.
Bought a new book, haven't started reading yet though, but it seems pretty interesting, I shall recommend if it's good. If not, i'll bloddy hell sue the devil who got me tempted and insisted me to purchase that book.

Hmm, sound appalling huh? Neh.

My ipods screwed, will be insisting my mom to get me a video one. I hate nanos for some reason, just can't comprehend which.
I shall make my own way and click onto the web page and start typing GarageBand as quickly as possible. I'm dying of my outdated playist that screams my ipod. Urghhh.

English test tmr, fly the fish out. I don't give a darn to it since i couldn't put myself to it. Bye bye 3/1 and 3/2, i guess we were never meant to be.

The cookies vera baked yesterday. I bake nicer and more appealing ones(:

Candid!

At first she started with a small portion and then she turns to me and say: caroline! I bought this!

And yes, i went omfggg.

Barbie shopping, yes? LOL.

And that's how my day went(:

2007-02-13T16:33:00.000+08:00

Somehow, you'll feel like shit at one point of your life. Have you felt that way? Cos i do. People gives me shit all the time.
Mom's got her 7390 which i thought it was pretty. So i tried to convince her by trading her 7390 with me to n73. I though she could've reacted slow but she wasn't much of a muddlehead, yeah yeah, i'll still be sticking to n73, big deal.
School was a blast. And did you knowt hat Low Kar Yee is in love with my geography teacher which had the same surname as vicki? Uh hurh, Mr tan, yes he is. Which tan? You figure out yourself. She even told me she had extreme fetish on teachers, esp cute ones.
A few examples which had made it top 10 on her crush list was mr koh and mr goh. Omg, i was obviously appalled but sigh, kar yee's one strange person, i don't know why:/
LOL!
Vera and her whole big herd of friends are baking cookies(?) now. Man, i so do not want to sample, look pretty disgusting though. Well, from all of my experiences. I bake nice cookie if you hadn't known.
My html/css for my space is screwed, i don't know what the hell is wrong with it but ah well, shall get somebody to help me out. Those experienced one.
Anyone?
I'll be going over to cindy's for dinner. She's got a really cute cousin seriously.
Dixie chicks made it big on grammys. I don't like them in particular, songs are a bit weird. Hmmm, correct me if you have to. Maybe i'm wrong, lol.
I MISS KIMMMYYYYYYYY

2007-02-12T15:39:00.000+08:00

Maths test was, uhm, okay. Geography was a sucker. Honestly i prefer major exams to class test/common test. It's harder for people to score but easier for me to overtake.

You get what i mean?

My grandpop's killing me now, i don't know why. He just came up to me and gabs in jap which i apparently cannot translate. Yucks, i need grandma's shoulder to cry on. He's a sucker sometimes.
I'll be expecting a rainbow any time soon. It's drizzling now while it's scorching outside. A perfect way to get sick.
My mind's kinda caught up with some stuff right now, i hate grandpop. I'll kill him if i have to.
Anyways, my craving for kfc is finally over, had it after school with the girls. This time, you're not gonna expect vicki,kat and sa from me.
Kar yee was hysterical, i couldn't stop laughing when i'm around her. Lucinda's alright, i just couldn't understand how she can stand such friends like me. I pity grase, her whole house at indo was completely flooded. Nah, probably a metre or so, thank God my mom's perfectly safe in the grace of the 16th floor. I'll be gng back to indo this cny, i'm pretty excited. Though i can't really say i'm looking forward to the red packets, i just missed my family. It's gonna be 3 more years til i'll be joining them at Australia,oh wonders of Sydney, i could hardly wait :D
And i just realised that i'm an aunt, ewww, made me sound so old. But my cousin just had her first baby. I'm pretty bad at names honestly, so i don't know what she's named.

But that's not the point, she better be cute.

Oh, and i just had my health screening today, well as expected. It's a good thing i showed up with shorts and shirt. I'de almost puked at the humanities room, excuse me. It was after break and i pretty much had a heavy meal, jeremy then approached me and demanded me to go to the humanities room for health check and i'de almost died. I was all alone but the nurses treated me pretty nicely, how ironic. But they were discussing about this girl from my school who just had an audio test and discovered that she had a blood clot in her ear. Upon hearing them i gave a loud groan. My tummy just sucked at any point of time i hear such stuff. I'de always wanted to be a doctor but i just had a thought that i wouldn't be able to do it, i hate blood seriously. And it kills me every month.

Gah, i'm crapping all the way. My mind's pretty screwed up seriously. My body must be disfunctioning, i need a break. This is seriously a random post.

2007-02-11T16:58:00.000+08:00

I just can't seem to understand why the human body always disfunction at the wrong place and at the wrong time, jeez. I set up my alarm clock to 7am and i'de reckoned i pressed the stop button instead of the snooze button so yeah, i was late for post encounter and i was a muddlehead at 9.
I didn't intend to go for post encounter after all, since i've hadn't done my encounter so i don't see the importance of my presence. Met up with yiwei at 11 to get my necklace, pretty well done. It must have taken a pretty long time to do it since it's so tideous.
I met nicky at in the bus again. He's nothing special to me now, for at least my first puppy love but nah, i don't like him anymore. (if you're reading this)
I don't understand girls sometimes. Nah, most of the times. Well maybe not all girls, maybe i shall specify and magnify it to the girls that i normally hang out with. Elizabeth thinks that they're weirdos, i won't say i agree but...nevermind. I don't even get what's going wrong, cos i can't seem to see what the hell is wrong. Maybe it wsa me or maybe it was just a bad day, but i don't think we should treat each other this way. It's unfair to the other party.
What more can i say? It's pointless without being listened but heard.

See? There's a difference.

And if it's something gotta do with guy problems, just shoot it. I absolutely am not the kinda person who could tolerate much of these. Dating is not in me, why the rush, and that's my point. I may seem i may not know anything, but i do. I am totally aware on what's going on between all of you. Backstabbing is a common thing, i've experienced much, but i think you're overreacting or perhaps overjudging. The people i feel comfortable with may not appeal to you, so what's the whole point of being upset at? I don't do cliques fyi, so i get to know more kinds of people then you do. I dare not say i'm a social butterfly cos i like spending time alone and hence i'm somewhere in between that and a loner. I don't care much of what you had said, i take it as you don't know me. If it's me you're insulting, then let the others go. It's so unfair to them. Your point of view, or what you proclaim as 'instincts', are untrue, and i cannot tolerate any longer. Chew me personally if you have to, i hate shit talkers.

Chatted all the way with elizabeth, she's nice:D I got to do her nails. Though they're screwed but it still look pretty. It's nice stepping out of comfort zone and meet new people. It may seem and feel weird at first but it's nice and happy that you've met new people who are no different nor exceptional from you.

Anyways, skipped lunch again. My tummy was growling for food and i was pretty much starved to death. So i went to ikea to get dirty hotdogs but after seeing what was on the queue, i'de almost fainted. Now i know how to prove to everybody that singapore's population density is high. Take orchard road for example. So i toured around anchorpoint, in hopes of finding yummy food. I walked one whole round and so i decided to have gummies, sourpowers and sweets. Yes, for lunch.
Munched hungrily all the way home and this few japanese kiddos kept staring at me. I thought they got attracted by the colourful colours of those gummies i had, yeah neah. Conclusion is: never skip meals(:

Geography and maths test tmr, bye bye.

Blogger's so screwed

2007-02-10T23:23:00.000+08:00

Anyway, if it every gobbles up and chokes down my template then yeah, i'll start the old cursing again.
Went over to marcus ang's and his folks' house, had steamboat:D Muahaha, it was good, pretty good.
Well i met up earlier with katherine, we kept changing the venue and so we were late and hadn't had enough time to go shopping. Crapshit, well at least i've got my fox top.
I saw this pretty pretty cool top at topshop but sizes 12 and 14 were the only one left. Jeez, sizes these days, pretty hard to find. So i scanned through the whole section for a 8, but to no avail. Tsk, shall get it next time.
I hate kemabagan, that's like the last place i'll ever go there. The cannal near the mrt was hideous. It seriously stinks and i couldn't stop puking and vomiting that after, well almost. Smells like sea water and sewage, what a perfect combination. Weird.
I find that when vicki and i hit the grill, we make an incredible feat:D Uh hurh, did you know that we were the first to start our dinner and the last to finish it? We ate like 3 hours non-stop, haha. Yeah you'de better believe me. Johan thinks that we treat him like a geniue pig, kept giving him those 'unwanted' food. But we weren't after all. We were just requesting if he could try our new 'experiments'.
Vicki and i practically dipped the whole food onto a bowl of soy sauce. Pretty salty and unhealthy, but yummy. NKF is to be blamed. I don't care, i'll push the blame to them, LOL.

I know you want my apple.

Lucinda's influenced by me. She's going 'gaga' over online shopping now. Get paypal:D
Now she knows whose the pro-online shopper when she sees all the websites and links that i gave her to look through and find whatever she wants:D

Things i'll never say

2007-02-09T14:55:00.000+08:00

Hello.
Skipped school today, which meant that i skipped health screening too(: LOL, but i'm sure that i'll have to make up with one of those unfriendly nurses.
I was so restless today despite turning in early last night. Grandpop was appalled when he found out that vera and i woke up at noon. Ha, some hardworking arse like him.
Everyone's all hooked up on myspace,i'm too lazy to update mine. Not to mention my iLike/itunes. I don't do friendster these days, bores me out real easily. I wanna meet new people out there:D Like how i met Torsten from germany, hoho.
I find it hard to rack my brain each time i see those 'about me' questions. There's just so many things to say about, ah wells.

2007-02-08T18:00:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to online shopping, omg i have to stop.

Sigh, i had no other choice. My week's all screwed up cos of the upcoming tests and extra lessons and not to mention tuition, that made my weekends so dead. Worse of all, i hadn't been doing much shopping and it's weird cos saturdays and every other day are always a free time for me. Biology courses are just a killer. I couldn't even digest what the graduates had said. All in all, it benefits us and i kept protesting myself to go.

Party at someone's house(i'm unsure of whose), on saturday. Which meant that it'll cut off my free shopping time. I'm so depressed. Besides, i wouldn't be able to go for church service anymore in these few weeks cos of the upcoming tests and all. It's so annoying. The competition has alrdy started and it's getting pretty tensed. I don't want to fail again this time, like what i've did last year. Though results and perfomance in school had brought me down despite the countless effort, i would die to improve further. It only takes one step to continue further, but it only takes one person to hold back the whole class. That's the thing i hate about e2/1 and i very much couldn't wait for promotion day. Do ya know how annoying my classmate can get? I could always shout, or curse, but that's not exactly who i am. No way am i living the 'one for all, all for one' spirit, cos that's just a stupid saying and it'll make no progress if you continue on.
I don't want to be left behind, though i may not take the lead. I just want to be the better lot(:

I'll work hard, i swear i will.

2007-02-07T14:18:00.000+08:00

Home and early. Intended to continue being the nerdy nerd but i decided to call it off. Anyway, school was gay. I'm gonna hate tmr cos it's a test day. Yeah, history test& chinese test. All from sec1s.
Shittttt, i can't find my shou ce anywhere.

Just
Kill
Me

Gonna have to flunk it anyway. I don't give a damn to cheena, as much as i want to learn and continue on with my jap. Sunflower seeds are best for lunch. It makes you full for a minute and you'll end up vomitting the next. It's a good thing that there was no health screening today. Singaporean nurses are scary and unfriendly. Mrs goh even had to warn me that they could bite you sometimes. God knows i hadn't brought back my healthbooklet and now, i had to tell the old grandma's story to all the nurses. Shit it.

I'm just gonna end my conversation and explanation short and simple with a simple 'shut up'.

2007-02-06T18:06:00.000+08:00

Guess what? Cherry gave momma a call. Yes, my bloody 9 year old sister had finally gave a call. Heard that she was hospitalised right after the trip to korea. Haha, i laughed so hard.
And my whole extended family will be coming down to celebrate chinese new year from Australia :D Omgsotongballs, i just wish that i could skip sec2, sec3 and better still sec4, so that i could migrate to australia as soon as possible. I'm counting the days and i so cannot wait to get myself there and be nerdy always. Life's good there, ya know what i mean...
We've received our science common test today. Yeah, that was fast. We had it like yesterday and got back our scripts today. World's best record goes to miss liang. But anyway, i did pretty good :D I'm proud for at least now. I've scored like half a mark higher than chun zhi, and it sure did made me go crazy. Haha, for the 1st time i've beaten her.
The big fat cheenah guy in my class is my next competitor.
Sheesh, it's kinda tough when you've got 3/1 or 3/2 smacked right on your forehead. You'll go around looking like stupid zombies saying ' 3one 3one 3one 3one-3two 3two 3two.' LOL. Imagine our herd saying that, scary mary.
I don't understand why students have to suffer and do much on art. I just don't get it. Seriously, if it was for exercising your left brain or whatsoever, i'de rather you throw me sums and questions on maths and it'll
probably will get my brain in fire, thank you. Seriously, what's the whole point? And we all had to draw like 10 shoes? That's plain idiosyncrasy.

My prince charming, jeremy (:

10shoeschinesetesthistorytest so bye!

2007-02-05T18:25:00.000+08:00

I had a nice, warm dinner with the folks. A happy happy family dinner with balasushi to fill us up. <3 jap food. And what about you?

As usual, i pondered on my bed this morning if i should get it going to have another fun time in school, or just make a deep cut and cough profusely and cry to our grannies.
Nevertheless, i skipped another grace of an mc, and went to school just to prove everyone that i'm godly afterall.

Anyway, i just got my maths test and i'm seriously bloddy stressed up. It's nothing to be complacent about. Everyone's moving forward to achieve all their ones that they should deserve, whereas i'm still stuck here with all of my pathetic twos. It's so annoying. Oh and this big fat cheena guy in my class is so competitive. Everyone is. The competition is getting tensed and i'm not too sure if i could hold on. I'm breaking down now, to have the thought and to see the splurge of our analysis. It just sucks. Vicki's alrdy catching up and clarissa won me for maths.

YOU SHOULD OBVIOUSLY KNOW THAT I'VE DONE BADLY. AND AN A2 IS DEFINITELY TAKING ME NOWHERE.

GOD, I DEMAND FOR A1SSSSSSSS!!!!!! YOU HEAR ME??!!! ONES ONES ONES ONES ONES ONES ONES!!!

Seriously, i think i failed this time. I don't know why. I just do. This time, i won't come crying after ms ang, who eventually would give me a sheer smile in a form of sympathy. And what do i get from my form teacher? A fair warning saying that i could never get into the best class mainly because i'm not good enough.
I don't know if it's just a sarcastic comment or a sarcastic skill in order the straighten students up, i just feel that inserurity of me passing up my grades. I would just die for sec3/1. I seriously need to buck up. But today's maths test was such a failure. I felt so left behind. Besides, i had missed two days of lessons which made me damn bloody slow, i don't even think i could get my ones. Everyone used to praise me how hardworking i am. Honestly, i'm not. Everyone needs to study. Mainly because no one here in new town is clever. No one is. People try to console me by saying 'yes, you can do it. you will make it. e3/1 is without a doubt. you will for sure have positions there. Nothing is impossible.' Sometimes, i wish i could just shout out loud and demand everyone to just go and shut their mouth. Please, that's almost eveything that i've heard of other people. It's just sick. It's easy to say but not easy to do.
I'm such a failure in maths.Is it because i'm not into propotions and figures? Or am i better at algebra and soon i'll prove to everyone that i'm good?

Or am i just NOT good enough?

Lord, prove me wrong through today's science test, i pray, amen

2007-02-04T18:07:00.000+08:00

Hello. Nothing much today. Stress is getting on me.

My weekends are in ruins now. I haven't been studying. Urgh, omg. I deserved to be spanked. Science test tmr, so i gotta go work my bloody ass off.

Bye bye.

2007-02-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

I gotta say, if there was no Caroline, then there's no such thing called life.

Me; *goes into the room, slams down bag*
Me; *turns around and saw a body lying down, dead*
Me; OMGGGGG!!!!
Vera: Hurh? what?
Me; WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! i thought you were at sentosa???!!!
Vera: ALL THANKS TO YOU LA WA LAO! I HATE YOU FOR LIFE MAN!
Me; HA-HA-HA-HA.

So as you can see, my whole family is sick all thanks to me. And if any of my friends out there are sick too, don't you go looking and pointing at me.

christina

2007-02-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

What is this feeling coming over me?
I'm taken back in disbelief
Is this really me, ha! in the mirror I see?
Staring back at me:
Could it be? A new reflection of a woman complete
All of a sudden I'm so care-free (well alright)
'cause love is doing something strange to me (well alright)
Got a new flame, ha! haven't been the same
Something in me's changed, rearranged
And I feel that I've been saved

You got me feeling like you're that something I've been missing
Everything's heaven 'cause life with you has been a blessing
(Oh-oh oh-oh)
I got it bad in a serious way, oh yeah
(Oh-oh oh-oh)
Your love has brought me to a higher place, oh yeah
(Who knew? Who knew?)
It'd be you to restore my faith
Everyday, I'm amazed
And it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Said it makes me wanna get down and pray
Yeah-hey

I've kept some company I shouldn't have (well alright)
Made some mistakes but that's in the past (well alright)
I'm professing here to you
Proof that I am through
I'm coming clean
Now I can breathe and I finally believe, yeah

You got me thinking I'll be alright, and you're the reason
Ooh I can feel it, we're moving in a new direction

(Oh-oh oh-oh)
I got it bad in a serious way, oh yeah
(Oh-oh oh-oh)
Your love has brought me into a higher place, oh yeah
(Who knew? Who knew?)
It'd be you to restore my faith
Everyday, I'm amazed And it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Said it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray

Ohh Where would I be?
Where would I be?
Without you by my side
Where would I be?
Where would I be?
Without you standing by
Makes me wanna (pray)
Makes me need to (pray)
When I'm feeling low and all alone, You're the light in my day, yeah
(Oh-oh oh-oh)
I got it bad in a serious way, oh yeah
(Oh-oh oh-oh)
Your love has brought me into a higher place, oh yeah
(Who knew? Who knew?)
It'd be you to restore my faith
Everyday, I'm amazed 'cause it makes me wanna get down and pray
'cause it makes me wanna get down and pray
Makes me wanna get down and pray
Woo, thank you father!
Wanna lift my hands up and pray
'cause everytime I'm hearing your name
Wanna reach out and rejoice Sound of your voice, yeah

2007-02-01T13:07:00.000+08:00

{EDITED}

I feel desperate and sad. Oh yes i am, desperate it is. Ya know i feel like it's worse than being dumped by some guy and pouring out all your sorrows through the SOS hotline. Or, it could be worse than having the thought of jumping down from the 20th storey. Why am i desperate?
Its because,

I
.
LACK
.
SUGAR
.
AND
.
SODIUM
.

Urghhhh, medicine kills me, seriosuly. It's like everything that i put inside my mouth taste bitter. Now my body just crave for any sweet things. Coke, sugar, sweets are a few examples. But after the attempt to even find for one, i just gave up hope. So in the end i kinda smuggled Vera's sugus sweet which seriously is hard to get over it.
I should be stressing on history now. Thanks to the high fever i had this morning, the thermometer just made me cry after the beep sound, reading it's temperature a 38.5 degree celcius. Yes, a high fever. Mdm Neo demanded me to go home at once, so i skipped assembly and waited in the staff room.
Wasn't long after i got a lift home.
And once i entered the house, i took a shower, and *plong* fell back to bed, which i had been lacking of. My grandpop went hysterical when he sees me this morning. One word tataima (??)(i can't spell nor write jap characters) from me, he starts gabbing in japanese which i can't translate to english, much less chinese. But i heard this word benQ (??), which meant school. Can't recall, but i kn0w he's asking me why am i not in school this hour.

Kay, i gotta go find MORE sweet things to overcome it all. I hope i get better tmr, i've skipped two days of school mind you. And it's nothing to rejoice about, especially when you're fighting for positions to e3/1.
(My grandpop is gabbing jap again, i can't understand a single bit, well maybe a lil. My japanese accent is a lil strange and he can't seem to understand. I gotta go clear things out now.)

Okay, here are all your complains again. I can't seem to understand the term 'speak truth in Love'. As much as i tried to. All i want is to have this family all worked out perfectly fine. But somehow, i'm giving up hope, so i'de say a prayer and now it's all Yours.
Without me being around, everything seemed to be a mess. A simple sorry goes a long way and, it's as simple as that. Though i'm not in the wrong, and i can't even identify myself in the wrong, i'm always the one taking the initiative to apologise. I'm always the one giving in. But if this continues any further, then i'm through. I know quitting is not gonna work. Much less having a new cell grp or even going to a new church. I may not seem to take things to heart, but being in my position, i simply just cannot keep up. I'm tired of running towards you, mending your sorrows, but somehow, they've just gotta learn how to swim just like mine.

Like what daDDy said, i should always stay prayeful and have faith in Him. Their Yours anyway, i don't seem to care anymore, not that i don't love them, i'm just tired and i need a break. Juggling two families, school work and friends is not easy.

I still cannot get over my dad, and i believe that i would be able to meet him, somehow. I'de cry out loud if i have to.

It's not fair to me, it just isn't.